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The Evolution of your


Remember the song: Wouldn’t It be nice ... By the Beach Boy’s ... Now go look it up and read the Lyric’s out loud!

Sometimes I wonder if we were not all tied up in our “What’s in it for me” or “Service to self” attitudes ... And could any of just make an immediate adjustment to; I could look at the other person across the table and say, “You know I really like you as a person and I have no expectations” ... “I want to be friends first and maybe we could be more than that.” It’s not a bad way to finish a conversation at the end of a date. And then I find myself daydreaming; I think way back to high school in my naivety that it really was just like that- WOW! ...and then reality sets in, I am jaded now?

How many of you have great expectations on that first date with the person you met on-line only to be deceived by their good looks and funny personality. It does not have to be that way ... if you would approach the initial meeting with ... They look kind of interesting and not so hard on the eyes- Let’s see what’s inside that persons head. The point is people that how a person looks to you ... is your illusion or delusion. There is more to knowing the mysteries of a person than “at a glance”.

First of all if you are looking or dabbling in the prospect of meeting a new person ... And then signing up on a web dating site. You need to have some “Wisdom” in your state of mind. You need a set of rules to play by. Preferably a set of rules called “Integrity”. When you see someone’s picture online and it makes an impact on you ... Just know the digital picture is skin deep. You attempt to start writing back and forth. After a few emails, you have the idea of bringing that person into your life. It’s a notion and we all go through it at one time or another. It’s just something we do and it does not always pan out. Like trying on shoes looking for a pair that fits the best. ... It is possible they are doing the same thing with you or someone else for that matter. What you are looking at as qualities and admirable traits may not be what they are looking for. Whether you’re a guy or a gal ... you may both have different intentions of where the relationship is going to go or not go. For some it is just a one night stand with dinner or drinks which could be a “Dutch date”. This is a very bad idea if you are a guy that does this on the first meeting! And then there is the guy who takes the gal to dinner and wants her for desert- another bad idea. Even in this day and age, the gal calls all the shots on the first date. No matter ... a first date, one must always put that best face on and behave with dignity.

Now depending what sex you are may define the definition of the initial date. And either party could be wild and crazy or just plain lame. So take a moment and look inside your head, which version are you? Then go into the other ... the one you’re thinking about meeting and going on a date with- What are they all about. Does writing emails define their true nature? Does it really matter? Well it should because you may be setting yourself up for a big fall because you did not do your homework ... Does the person seem real enough or genuine to you. Do they say what you want to hear and vice versus? Do they talk a lot of crap? Use slang all the time. Does their language suit you? These are real clues to what they are all about. Are they really authentic when you ask a question or try and get a reading or take on a subject matter that is important to you.

You are probably wondering what do I know? Well I been there and done the wrong things and the right things ... I have judged every man I met online with criteria I came up with. Everything I want in a man and everything I did not want. I found I was critical and judgmental but made concessions and compromises until I could not deal with it, which I found I was dating men for all the wrong reasons. The point is you have to like and love yourself enough to date someone without any preconceived ideas of what shows up when you are sitting there waiting.

Give the person half a chance of surviving your first interview liaison and then they will do the same with you- Play fairly and with good intentions.


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