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When is a LDR to far?


About 2 months ago I met this great guy while playing the online game World of Warcraft. We had long conversations and found out that we had a lot more in common than the game. We share a lot of the same interests. The problem is I am in the US and he is from the UK. So, not only do we have a long-distance problem but the time change is difficult since there is a 6 hour time difference.

Our conversations happen almost every night through Skype now and can usually last over 2 hours. We have declared that we are in love with each other and want to move forward but are not sure how.

We are both in our twenties and have finished school and work full time. Is a relationship worth one person up rooting there entire life to be with another? Frown



When you talk online or use Skype it is a medium no more than that.

But let’s take it further with an analogy- Think about an actress or actor in a movie and or on TV and he/she has thousands of fan’s that he/she fulfills their everyday dreams and even lives with some sort of fantasy beyond their living room sofa chair filling in the few hours of freed up time. It is not the intentions of the producer and even the actress/actor to meet up with any of you or me. For he/she is a source of entertainment for a few short hours ... and for some there are those who want more of him/her like eating your favorite ice cream- you can’t get enough of it ... It’s like you are tuned into some kind of cyber phenomena that the person that you have indulged all your faculties in their physical nonsense- you know absolutely nothing about them ... only their illusion.

So you think you are in love? Cyber Love is a medium that could not possibly take the place of a real human experience. Every idea and thought that passes through Cyberspace is cleansed and learnt like a reading for a major screen play that is rehearsed until one gets it right. I believe every one is the world is exactly where they need to be at any one time when they come into a chance meeting even in cyberspace. So cyberspace is your ground where the attraction takes place but the reality of getting together ... There are great risks at the outcome and the other side of the coin? – rewards. Do you gamble? Can you afford to lose?



Coming from my experience they don't work out.

I have had 3 different LDR of differing distances and it's just too complicated.

The more you fall for each other, the more you want to see each other. And its heartbreaking and frustrating that you can't whenever you want and quickly.
It gets too much relatively fast.

Average length of my LDR's - 9 months

Seeing everyone in couples all around you. Having nobody there when you just want to cuddle up and watch a movie. Nothing can replace, duplicate or feel the same as having the person that you want either with you or near to you when you want or need them.

Personally i will never do it again.

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Registered: 2018/04/28
Posts: 11
You shouldn't let others dictate what you should or shouldn't do and decide for yourself. Generally, LDR is not an easy feat to maintain, but it's also dependent on the mindset, context, and meaningfulness of the relationship itself that determines whether it would succeed in my opinion. If the LDR is temporary and there's been a foundation built to withstand the difficulties that come with the distance, both parties might still be able to pull through.

Things get a little trickier if it's an indefinite thing, because with no 'plans' or 'goals' to cut the distance eventually, the relationship will never work out. You can't marry someone who lives several hours apart and still remain in that situation after marriage. So I guess it really depends on your perspective and a whole bunch of other factors.

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