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Am I in the Friend Zone?


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Anonymous
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I think I might have made a mistake.

I have been dating this girl for 3 weeks now and we have gone out once every week. The first date we went out to a restaurant, had dinner and a few drinks. The date ended with a good night hug at her front door. The second date we went bowling and to a movie. It was a great night but there was not much physical contact and again the date ended with a hug. The third date we went to a bar and then back to her place. We talked and had some wine and then cuddled on her sofa while we watched a movie. Again it was a great night but we just hugged at the end though it was much longer and she did look deep into my eyes.

My friends think I have already messed this up. I really like this girl and we really do have fun together and have great conversations. She just ended a relationship about 2 months ago so I don't want to push anything and screw things up.

Should I step back and let her setup the next date and how do I tell if I am in the friend zone or if we can be something more?

Shiwahed

Anonymous
Hi there. I'll be honest and direct with you : you are DEFINITELY in the friendzone, sorry! She might not have said it but it will soon happen and will break your heart : "Oh *yourname*, you're such a great friend!" I know how it feels, mate, we've all been through that. Happened to me several times and the most stupid thing you could do would be to tell her "I like you so much" or even worse "I love you" because it will scare her off and she will take advantage of the situation by saying "Oh my God, that's so awkward but you know, I love you too, just not the same way" and you would feel really disappointed... To be honest I think that the friendzone is worse than rejection because at least rejection makes things clear whereas the friendzone enslaves you and you keep believing that "one day she'll love me" and other things like that : sorry, she won't, I know it's hard, I know how it feels because I felt the same way but you can't carry on this way.

You have been going out with her a few times, fine. You don't "really like this girl", you're just attracted, that's normal. So you've got two choices : either you carry on this way and stay lost in the friendzone (and one day she will come with another guy and say : "meet my new boyfriend!"Wink or you make a move and show her this way that you're interested and you're not interested only in being her friend.

Next time you guys go out, be romantic, make her laugh, show a lot of confidence (without being arrogant) and try and grab her hand softly and gently while you're looking at her. Upon her reaction you will know what comes next : going to her place or yours and have sex or rejection. If she is interested in you and doesn't reject you directly, give her a kiss and hopefully everything will work! If not, then accept the rejection and move on, bro, there are plenty of girls in the world, she's not the only one, but don't make the same mistake again, don't let her think you want to be a friend, show confidence and intentions.

Best of luck Smile

Anonymous

Anonymous
Yup, Friend Zone. Thought it may be too late for this, maybe someone else will read this and it will help them...

When she stared deeply into your eyes that last time, THAT was the time to go in for a kiss. You missed it. But in that situation, all is not lost. Stay away from her for a bit. Afew weeks, maybe even a month. This will aid in "resetting" things a bit, so to speak. Then the next time you go out, as the other poster stated, touch her - that is take her hand (when appropriate), when you laugh, naturally put your hand on her arm. If you are walking through a crowded room, guide her through the crown by placing your hand on the small of her back, etc.. But it has to be natural and not creepy. And if you put your hand on her arm, don't look at where you are placing your hand. That isn't natural, and she will likely pick up on that.

Then you need to flirt with her verbally. Tease her about something. Make it sexual. Make it funny if possible. Not overtly sexual though. Otherwise it will be weird. For example, say you walk by a store window and there is a mannequin with a bikini on. DO NOT say "Oh, that would look SO hot on you!" That's way too overt. Do a search for how to flirt on YouTube and you will find lots of videos on how to do it subtly and properly. Anyway, the point of flirting is to remind her that you are indeed a sexual person in general. You have a pulse. From there, see how she responds. Watch for body language, like the staring into the eyes for the hug. Cuddling together on the couch is likely not something that she usually does with friends.

My guess is she was waiting for you to make a move, you didn't and so she figured that SHE had been friend zoned.

But I could be wrong.

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