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One eharmony experience


Following are merely allegations that represent my observations and opinion. Moreover, eharmony does not represent its position herein, and may indeed be innocent with respect to any accusation of fraudulent publications and/or deception.

Based upon a week of trial usage I am strongly convinced that 90% or more of my "match" listings were cyber-generated phantoms. It is of course impossible for me to ascertain if the actual number is 100% or even if it's 0%. There were about 30 matches presented to me for contact or refusal.

The first indicator was that nearly none of the girls had a picture. To girls reading this: don't kid yourselves into thinking that Prince Charming will be so overwhelmed by your personality that you can cheat nature this way. Save yourself from inevitable frustration by putting it out there up front. Ahem: in-focus, revealing pictures. Not just head shots, either: even if you have a problem that Weight Watchers won't solve, would you prefer to cry when you see the horror on his face when you finally meet?

None of the presented match candidates responded; at least none with a human sounding response. There were a couple of [multiple choice] responses, something like "I am taking a break from dating right now." Well, it's possible, that they're laying out the bucks for a premier service, and say that. And let's be honest: maybe that was just their way of giving a polite brush-off. I could accept that.

But the dead giveaway was the timing of matches.

(A) Day after day, I received exactly 5 profiles of "matches." Anytime I clicked on "search for more" it would respond "no more matches...but new people are always joining..." Think about it.

(Cool Let's say that, as implausible as (A) sounds, that it's true. Then why did I receive exactly 5 matches on the day I registered? Is it even conceivable that their entire existing database of matches contains EXACTLY the same number of compatible matches as the number of matches that enter the system each day? Unh unh. No way.

(C) I saved the best for last. Six days in, following earlier days' clicks on "find new matches" (which always said "no more&quotWink, I received two profiles that looked promising. If the eharmony service is honest, that means that these were NEW people entering the system. I clicked to initiate contact. A couple of hours later, both showed the [multiple choice] response "I am taking a break from dating right now." Think about it. They joined, and on their first day are taking a break from dating?? Oh, eharmony officials that read this: fire the programmer that didn't think this through. He's been busted now.

By the time that you read this, eharmony may have reprogrammed their response generator, in which case, hopefully, everything is now legit. Or then again maybe there's a new con du jour. And I could be flatly wrong - maybe there were truly no phantom matches.

Of course you should rightly wonder if I am simply Godzilla, and if I am simply frustrated that zero girls in my entire state would even respond to such a sleaze? Unlikely. I am bright, wealthy, "nice guy" by almost any measure, strong on fun and passion, thin, and with at least nonrepulsive looks - and yes, I included useful photos. But I'll fairly admit - maybe I just portrayed poorly. And maybe weeks or months should fairly be allowed for success.

It should be noted that their customer service fairly and readily granted a credit card refund with only a 4 minute phone call - no B.S. whatsoever. Unlike AOLish runaround tactics when you cancel, eharmony earned an A+ in that aspect. (I did not confront them with my suspicions. I just asked them to cancel and refund.)

It should also be noted that I initially checked the box that essentially says, "do not automatically renew on my credit charge when my subscription expires." eharmony's system later (SILENTLY) changed my setting to "DO auto-renew." It's on a screen that I would have never seen if I hadn't searched for it on a wild hunch, based on my recollection of a complaint forum's entry that claimed that they did this.

In closing: This is not an absolute condemnation. There are probably hordes of lonely girls and lonely guys like me out there, whose face lights up when they get those 5 emails, and sees the one or two that may be the "one!" Oh maybe, oh maybe, she'll feel the same way and respond! What price can be put on the value of hope - which eharmony certainly delivers?! As such, one could look upon the subscription price as buying entertainment. You get a Christmas present package every day when you check your email. It may be a dud, and it may be the lottery. But for me, no thanks. When I buy a service, I want *that* service! Case closed!

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