Online Dating & Relationships Forums

Ashley Madison Scam


Quote by: anonymous409

Ashley Madison is not totally a scam, although I have heard some nightmare stories about most of the women just wanting money, cars, etc. I also know that there are men who pose on there as women.

I am a female who used Ashley Madison about a year ago, and I did meet a guy. Things were great for our one meeting, but apparently he was looking for a lot of one-night stands, despite what he claimed. I, on the other hand, was looking for a discreet, on-going relationship with no strings as at that time I was married.

I am currently separated, and I am wondering if anyone knows of a good site for people who, like me, really miss the passion and crave an intimate relationship without a deep involvement. I spend countless hours puzzling over this one. I don't want to pick someone up in a bar; I don't want someone who is living with a spouse and wanting to cheat. The ideal relationship for now is to be involved with someone with whom I can share a friendship and go out some, and share an intimate relationship. I just am definitely not looking for marriage or for a dependent type of situation.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.


It's BS, Like someone before me said. I got *censored* on yahoo telling me they found me on that site. I've never signed up.

My real point here is, what happened to trying to find men/women for real in your area. Putting in some real leg work? Or if you're married, keeping your *censored* between you and your wife/husband and trying to work it out or going your separate ways? No I'm not affiliated with anyone, it's just a personal opinion, I can't see the point of it for the life of me. And disagree or agree with me, but ask your self. Is it a relationship you want, or a one night stand, and if it's the latter. ARE YOU REALLY SURE, you wanna take a crack at some chick you've never heard, of seen, or known beyond your computer screen? At least if you pick them up at a bar you've had the chance to talk and maybe got to know them beyond how high they can get their ankles over their head. Just my opinion.


Quote by: nonexistant

I think it is probably part scam/part real. I'm sure there are some women who are truly looking for what the site says it provides. However, in looking at the big picture, while I was surfing some profiles, interestlingly a bunch of very good looking women appear with their very clear and unobstructed photos. And in their description it says that they are looking for (among other things) DISCRETION! Now how can that be??? I know there are some who have their husband's "permission", but not that many! I'm fairly positive the site is "populated" with "stagers" to get our horny attention. But as stated before, I'm sure there are some real ones too. I follow the age-old trusted motto: if if looks too good to be probably is. The real good looking women don't have to go on dating sites for action, they can just browse the aisles of any hardware store and pick whatever man they want.

we can pick a man off the shelves of a hardware store, but because of his religious convictions, we can't get any action out of him.


Quote by: Nottelling

Ok guys...its time to face facts! I AM a real woman, and I have been using AM..and it has been an eye opener for me. Not the site but the men and the lack of respect many of them have for women in general. Just because I am on a hook-up site does not mean I don't have standards..there is a huge section there to tick the boxes for the qualities you are seeking. My profile says Im 5 ft 8 and seeking tall why is it that half the responses I get are from guys 2 inches shorter than me! You wonder why you dont get a response? If you took the time to read a profile and only respond to those that you fit ALL the criteria for, you would save yourself a lot of heartache..
And another thing...
When setting your own profile, dont tick all the boxes. If you really aren't fussy about what type of woman you are looking for, dont think we are going to be interested. We like our men to have standards too...
I have been on AM for less than a week. I have no public profile pic. I have had close to 100 people contact me, but have only chatted to 4 of these. Of those 4 I have met 1 for a coffee; he was a lovely guy but for me it just didnt click. So dont assume any form of response from a woman automatically qualifies you for any further involvement.
I am meeting a 2nd guy shortly..and only because he is as honest and selective about what he is looking for as I am. He also showed a level of respect in our initial contact that most women require before they feel they can trust someone enough to meet them.
So suck it up all you men out there-set yourself a standard and stop coming across as desperate bogans who will jump on anything that breathes. There is nothing wrong with having a bit of dignity. The ability to spell and construct a sentence would also go a long way toward improving your chances, as would a clean shirt and a comb before you take your profile pic. Just because women are online, it doesn't make them any different to the women they are when they are at work, at a restaurant, or a club, or anywhere else you would meet them. And Im sure your uninvited lewd remarks, pushy domineering behaviour, inability to accept a refusal politely or with dignity, unsolicited pornographic images, and your general lack of manners wouldn't see you meeting too many women with any shred of decency in the real life arena either.
Maybe there are a lot of computer generated 'women' on the site to balance out the ratio a little, but, honestly, if your social skills compare to those of 97% of men have approached me, you will have as much chance with an AM avatar as you do of ever meeting a genuine, self respecting woman.

just want to say AMEN

Status: offline

A Shade of Blue

Forum User
Registered: 2010/09/29
Posts: 2
I have been on Ashley Madison since April 10'. I am a 51 year old female who has had luck with the site. Yes you do run into those guys whose intentions are blatant. But there have been men with respect and who are sincere. I usually meet them for lunch and discuss why they are on the site and their objective. If I am interested in meeting them again I will let them know. They seem to respect my objective and if I decide not to move further with them as well.

Some of the things that bother me though are these situations. If you are married and are expecting to have the person that you are going to have an affair with to date no one else but you, get real. You are married and have no right to ask someone to be monogamous with you since you are not doing the same. You can’t have your cake and eat it to sort of speak.

There seems to be a lot of young guys who not only are attached but they blatantly show a photo of themselves and for that extra bonus, they will show their package. Trust me boys, ladies are not interested in seeing your junk for the first initial contact. Also you are taking a gamble by supplying your mug shot. What if you get caught by your significant other?

Yes for some of the profile descriptions, they really need to tone it down. This isn’t a porno site of where you are describing how you are going to please us. It’s really best to say what your objective is.

I enjoy married sites more than single dating sites. With the married sites at least you get to the point of what you want. There is really no guessing involved and both go to your own homes at the end of the day. No drama either.

Good luck with your objective.

Another Anonymous User

Quote by: Robert

I wanted to add my two cents as an experienced and disappointed user of AM. I'm attractive, sensitive, sensible, and have excellent writing skills, so I don't think my problem was my pic or profile description. I had several women contact me or respond to my initial contacts, but had to pay $60 to really get in touch with them. Not one, out of the seven or so women, every responded to me twice.
I don't think the profiles are fake, but either there is something fishy going on, or the women who join AM are more timid than you'd expect. Either way, I blew $60 and suggest you don't do the same.

While I don't think it's a total scam, I do believe there are shady aspects to the whole thing. I've been surprised by "20-somethings" (I'm 50) giving me gifts, attempting to get me to sign up for an adult webcam site. Don't know how these fakes make it onto AM, and send gifts that normally would require an expenditure of credits when they don't have full memberships. Maybe it's a covert partnership deal with AM.

Prior to signing up for a full membership, I was also contacted by a few women closer to my age. I wrote them all nice notes as soon as I became active; oddly, I haven't received a single response. Suspicious? Yeah, a little.

You know there's something wrong when the link to report a profile as suspicious goes to a generic help page from which you have to navigate to a contact page and then enter a free-form description of the issue.

I have no doubt that there are at least some real women on the site, but they are so rare that I'm sure they're swamped by the male/female ratio.

I joined knowing that I might be throwing away my money, and now I'm pretty sure I did. For whatever reason, either fake profiles or real women who are simply overwhelmed by the attention they get, it's still disheartening to never receive a reply -- even a courteous "not interested" response. But maybe this is a splash in the face of the cold water of reality.

Another Anonymous User

Quote by: anon

How to spot fake profiles.

AM uses them to make guys think there are more women on the site than there actually are. But I have met real women on the site, and also spent more than a few credits chasing phantoms....

Thanks so much for this analysis. As an IT professional, I feel more than a little embarassed that I didn't dig into the page source to figure this out myself. I wondered, for example, why there were so freaking many women all from the same locale (e.g. Fremont, CA), and why there are so many Capricorns. Apparently their profile generator is only half-baked.

So I've weeded out the phantoms, and will take the rest of your advice as well.

Thanks again.


Wondering that too.....the alerts that someone is online comes to you about 3 hrs later! They say lets talk, but no one seems to return any mesages other thatn the standard ones that the company provides. Anyone else see that too?

AM user

I joined the site and was very careful with my credits. I only responded to women that sent me a 'wink', but never had anyone ever respond. It seems weird that they would 'wink' you indicating they are interested, then never respond to your email. Bottom line, I joined and never even started a conversation with a woman. $50 down the tubes....

Another Anonymous Poster

Just a follow up to my message from yesterday regarding weeding out fake profiles...

I had 18 profiles in my "favorites" folder. I went to the cougar site and looked them all up. 14 out of 18 were listed there as well, all fake.

After reflection, I'm convinced the site is a total scam. There may be a very few members that aren't fake, but by and large the site is designed to take money out of your pocket without giving you much in return.

So, yeah, fifty bucks down the tubes, but I'm having a good laugh at myself.

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