Online Dating & Relationships Forums

Has anyone actaully gotten a date on plenty of fish?

Happy fisherwoman

I met an absolutely wonderful man on POF, and he thinks he met an absolutely wonderful woman on there. We are very happy in a long-term relationship. Before him, I met some good guys, but no chemistry until "the one". So keep fishing, but use your common sense too. Big Grin


Quote by: Stan

Women don't actually use dating sites to meet people, they use it a shopping tool. They are not open to trying to SEE if so and so might be a match, they already have a very specific goal in mind. You are either what they are looking for or not.

In most cases, many women are just using these services to land the best deal ... usually a better deal than they normally get in real life. Most guys on dating sites will lie to make the grade or are simply looking for sex.

As well, in most cases, most women have this same outlook in real life as well and have turned to dating sites as a last measure before they consider re-evaluating their self perception.

I suspect they are maybe 20-30% of women on dating sites that have reasonable expectations.

Decide for yourself whether investing the time required is really worth the effort given the odds.

POF is a particular bad time wasting site because there is no cross match capability, so you end up spending your time doing that essentially unnecessary function.

Currently dating sites are on the upswing because there are a hugh number of people that wouldn't consider paying for a dating service, but are willing to play with it for free. In a couple of years, it's started already, that available pool of people willing to try it will dry up considerably ... then it just reverts to a previous state .... desperate home bodies looking for love.

I think Stan said it best.

Women think they are shopping and they will not settle for less than what they think is the best.

So they pass up some good guys.

And I agree that for some reason, the ressession is driving online dating to new highs regarding getting new members. But when people realize after about 6 months to a year that they are wasting their time, this surge will drop off and with luck, online dating will die out.


I joined POF over a year ago. I was a paying member of 3 different sites at that time. I received more dates from POF than I did on all the other sites together-- and I am very very particular about who I date.

My profile explained a bit about my life (I am 50, so I have history), then I talked about my current life, and then wrote about what I was looking for. I was getting emails from ladies that wrote just to say that my profile was perfect, even though we didn't match-- due to age, location, race, etc.

The problem with POF is a bit two fold. I have hosted many parties via the POF website. My parties were not your typical bar parties. They were 4-wheeling, canning veggies, making jelly, and other stuff that I enjoy doing. When hosting these parties, the host can send out a mass email to all members to ensure they are aware of the party. This is when the problem begins!

Some POF members can't read the mass emails! The emails have a "Disclaimer" at the top that states that it is a mass email and not directed to any specific person. I have been reported as a SPAMMER so many times!!! If these women would just take a minute and read the whole email, they would realise that it is just a simple open invitation to the event.

Now comes the problem at POF. I was able to contact the administration and get them to reinstate my membership a couple of times. Then right in the middle of another party, my profile was deleted again. The party is still posted and my friends are continuing to edit in my comments for me. If you happen to read this before the 4th of July 2010, look for NC events and search the 4-wheeling and float the river party!

Now, POF administrators have the computer servers set up so that a person can report another member as a SPAMMER and the computer will automatically lock the ISP address of the person being reported-- and this is WITHOUT being verified!!!!\

I would even be willing to pay for this site. All in all, meeting someone to your liking really depends on the quality of profile that you post. If you post in your profile, that you don't date outside of your race, then report all SPAMMERs that write to you that are out of your race.


okay so I recently made a profile and I did get some emails more than I thought I would actually, and well out of all of them I found one decent guy but it turns out he lives on the other side of town so we knew there was no way it would work :/
I'm starting to think all the guys on there are cheesy, desperate, nasty, and annoying...

I hope I can get lucky with someone on there ugh otherwise I give up! Frown


yep i found quite a few men from POF. am a girl. i've met like 5 men in total here in chicago. 1st a nigerian immigrant. lives in the devon area.i thought he was nice but he was actually only interested in sex. 2nd is a puerto rican, he still my boyfriend while i met up with others. 3rd is a half black half native american man from bronzeville who's younger than me and who i like the most from all of them but am still not sure if he likes me or not. 4th one is half mex half polish from little village. he nice and on our first meeting we just walked on the streets while he did most of the talking. i thought all went well but i guess he's still looking for other fishes in the sea. 5th is a black man from morgan park. he nice and doing most of the talking. they never paid for our dates. i just go meet up with them in the community where they live and we just have a good time talking and laughing. all of these guys are pretty tall. i dunno why you hate POF so much. if not, you ought to be grateful that there is this site and for free, too, otherwise you will never get to meet up anybody in real life until you turn 80 years old.


been on POF for just under 3 months. No dates, just few contacts that appear to have died out now. Could only recommend if you don't take it seriously or put in too much time/hope/effort. Sometimes it sucks!

Frustrated Guy

I dated someone I met on when It was free, years ago, think that is what it was.) Eharmony and POF. I still keep in touch with 2 of them, didn't find one I want to marry yet though.

I truly understand your frustration. On the whole my experience with any dating site is the women I talk to online are just RUDE. They will just stop writing without even saying anything. I think that is like having a conversation with someone and just turning around and walking away in the middle of it. It's just rude. I really think people forget that there is a real person receiving the emails. If the person is that inconsiderate than it probably isn't someone you want anyway, so you just move on.

Some will just flake out on you. Was emailing one girl and it was going awesome but the second I mentioned meeting she vanished. Freaking weird!


As a married guy age 37 I went of POV to talk with and if we hit it off right go on "activity" dates with other women in the same situation as myself. The truth is sex was not really on my mind-just have a good time and laughter with another woman.

I did meet two women of POV and did have a lot of fun with one of them. So-the site DOES work. Talking with other women on the site, it is true there are a ton of guys on there just looking for sex or who are scum bags. But the truth is that is everywhere-a bar, a club, a workplace-it is just that online guys are more forward.

As one of the posters said, as a guy it is more difficult to find dates and there is a lot more that guys put into it, trust me on this women. And for the women, they do have to sift through a lot of emails to find the right guy to respond back to. But don't complain guys, this has been true since the dawn of time. Women hold the cards when it comes to relationships, particularly in the beginning. I like that, it makes them more attractive in my view.

So, POV does work guys and girls. Just use common sense, don't talk like a scum bag, and have fun and don't expect email back from everyone you contact.

good luck


Quote by: Dina

Quote by: FIREBIRD

Quote by: OK2B

Firebird quit being so pessimistic, there are thousands of sites and lots of people meet up and have formed very good relationships.
If you don't want to try it fine but there are those who will and POF is quite a good site.

Easy to be optimisitc when women control the dating world. Try looking at it from a guys point of view. We are expected to pay for the date. Dress well. Drive a great car. Be successful. What do the women have to bring to the table. just show up with a illte makeup. THEY decide if there is going to be a second date. If there is going to be sex. Ecttc
And as for all the 'friends' people make on line, how many are people thqat you actually meet and go to dinner with? Or just hang out and I don't mean via a chat room?

Cyber frineds are not real friends. but in this day and age, most people can't seem to tell the difference.

Looking from a guy's point of you, and that's coming from someone IN POF ITSELF, "guys log into the site seeing all the beautiful women and think 'wow, look at how many women are in there. I'll just pop up a profile and will receive emails in no time. Imagine how much sex I'm gonna get!'"

FYI: I did pay for my dates, not on the first encounter though, but I have for every other time. Hell, I never got flowers and coincidentally I'm the one who gave all my dates, offline and online, flowers. I didn't even get a thank you from one of them. It's so repulsive to the point I vow to not do it to the next one. Sex is hardly part of the problem for girls. And sex is the one thing that a girl has to hold back from FOR A LONG TIME EVEN IF SHE'S HEAD OVER HILLS FOR THE GUY to make sure she's respected and the dude will stick around. It's sad but seems that only when we make you pay for the tab and give you nothing but hard ball and "games" that you value "your hard work" at "getting this one girl." I hate doing this BS, but seems what worked better than being straight forward and honest.

If you're a fat girl, sex more than likely is a problem. It's pitiable how strong the "it's good to be obese" lobby has become, because it's resulting in a lot of misery for a lot of people. And it's not about "looking for beauty on the inside"... it's about the cold hard science of attraction. (not to mention putting a skinny guy through the ordeal of sex with a big woman is very, very unreasonable).

As for the commitment thing, no, you don't need the games and you shouldn't use them. First of all, ask a guy if you're his type. If he says yes, look for signs of blushing or a big, beaming smile as affirmation. If he's uncomfortable when you make physical contact (and there is no blushing), that means he's scared and just wants to keep it friendly. If blushing happens, get to know him... learn where he grew up. Put him on your mind. Let him touch you... share your dreams, including the prince charming dream. But be sympathetic and let him know that you're his. Of course, don't throw yourself head over heels right off... offer yourself to him a little bit more at a time. Give him opportunities to advance. If he looks nervous and hesitant, get close and look him in the eye. Whisper your love for him in his ear. NEVER, EVER TEASE. NEVER, EVER DO THE GAMES. The people who need the games will never be able to have stable relationships... it's a sad fact of life. Real relationships begin with liking. If there is a passion element, then there can be progression to commitment. I've had the school. I've seen the evidence. I know. You do have to forgo the passion first, however, and focus directly on the liking until you get to know them. When people feel you have invested yourself into them, they will feel a responsibility to take care of you emotionally. It is this sense of responsibility which will transmutes passion into commitment.


I've been a plenty of fish user for over a week now. I followed the directions on how to construct a good profile. I felt good after completing my profile with pictures and sincere information about myself. Soon I began chatting and emailing those who were said to be "online now". I have yet to get a response from anyone. I even politely asked people to confirm they were "online now" and to respond to me as soon as possible so I'd know the site was legit. I have still yet to get any messages back from anyone. Unless someone proves to me that this site is legitimate I mark it down as complete bull *censored*

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