I study a couple of times a week at the local library as I have a noisy roommate and the library is a quiet place. More than half the time when I am at the library I run into a friend of my older brother who works there. We always chat for a bit but nothing beyond that. About 2 weeks ago he mentioned to me that he thought I was beautiful but had never said anything before because of his friendship with my brother. I laughed it off and didn’t think much of it until last week when he asked for my phone number. It wasn’t something I really wanted to give but I did it anyways and ended up getting his as well. John (my brothers friend) is good looking and everything but he is almost 12 years older than me. I am also not really interested in him in that way as I have known him since I was a small kid. In other situations when someone asks for my number and I don’t want to give it out I just give him a fake number. The problem here is that I see him at the library all the time and I know him through my brother so I cannot really avoid the situation.

He has texted me a few times and I have texted him back just short replies. He did call me and ask me out this Saturday. Luckily I had plans already and told him so. He called again today but I didn’t answer and he never left a message.

This is a sticky situation for me. How can I nip this in the bud and let this guy down nicely but firmly?

i hate to say this because i am a guy and it has been said to me. just tell him you like him as a friend and do not want to date.


the sooner you say it the better instead of you leading him on because you do not want to hurt his feelings.

he obviously likes you and guys in this position tend to read the good signs and ignore the bad. i know cuz that is what I have done.

it is always better to put a stop to a one sided relationship right away so there is less hurt afterwards.

The easiest way to fix this is just to stop all communication with him. Just do not reply to his phone calls or text messages.

If he does corner you at the library just smile and say you are busy and then continue about with your studying. If he continues to harass you after this I would report him to the library. I hate guys like this who cannot take a hint. Be strong!