If I use your dating services via Facebook will my friends and family can see that I my using Facebook for dating. I would like to use Facebook but I do not want my family and friends to know.

try changing your settings on facebook. you can do that or restrict your family or friends on accessing your wall post.

Which settings? I find the whole Facebook account setup confusing. I do not want to restrict my family from my wall completely just the posts from certain people.

Since you don't like that you family will be restricted then I think the person you've meet in a dating site is the one you have to restrict; that all he can do is just send a message to you and no posting at your wall.