Well, this is my first post on here and I wanted to share my online dating experiences for the past 5 years. I have to say I have had it with online dating sites. I've tried every dating site I could find and I've come to the conclusion that they are all spammed. I've never been on a date using them nor communicated with any real person. All communications I've had have asked either for money, they aren't who they say they are or they completely ignore me like I'm non existent.

I've been single all my life and I've tried meeting girls in person. That didn't work so I tried online dating. That didn't work either. I don't know what else to do except to warn everyone about the dating site out on the net. I'm a very attractive guy. There's nothing wrong with me but I fear in today's world, women who are single aren't looking for a relationship anymore because they fear the guy will date them just for the sex and/or will treat them badly. Why do you think there are so many single women with kids out there these days? Especially on these dating sites.

Well, that how I feel. Frustrated, that I will never find the girl of my dreams.

Amen brother. The fact is that attractive (or even passable) girls don't need the Internet to find love -- they have it clawing at their doorstep everywhere they go. Chicks who actually use these sites are either really crazy or looking for attention (usually when they're coming off from a relationship or their boyfriend left them). The whole thing is a total waste of time.

As a woman who has used online dating I found myself curious about both of your reactions to dating. I'm sorry you haven't found quality women. However your statement makes me wonder about the assumptions you're making about women (good-looking or otherwise). Anon said, Well, I'm an educated, attractive and financially secure woman living in a relatively rural area. Thanks to online dating, I've been on a dozen dates in the last year few months. And I have the double whammy that you would think would scare away all men...I'm twice divorced and a single mom of teenagers. However, I've met many really nice guys. A few have resulted in date #2 or #3 but didn't go much further. But I don't blame the online dating service, nor do I write these men off in anyway. These were great guys but we just didn't have chemistry. Yes, it would be ideal to have met them while on a hike, at the gym or at a political debate, but realistically...the likelihood of that happening isn't great.

With regards to your statements about women who date online as being crazy....well, there are crazy people everywhere. Well, that can go both ways. I've seen my share of oddballs on dating sites but it doesn't take much to weed them out. I mean, anyone who advertises themselves as attractive, fit, full of sexual energy, a smoker and drinker searching for a women who is 20 years younger, fit, attractive, no kids, financially secure, sexually adventurous and who keeps a clean house...well, that guy is not going to get many responses. And then there are the dudes that send out random emails to large number of people without reading the profiles. It's easy enough to figure it out by the way the email reads. My point is that it takes some diligence to screen people. I screen the site pretty carefully and email a bit with potential dates before I agree to meet a guy which is how I've managed to weed out the oddballs, but that's been few and far between anyway. I've never had any problems.

Also your statement that good-looking women have men clawing at their doorstep....well, that's not true either. It's not true because we are busy professional women...and yes, some of us are mothers as well...who might not want to date in our own profession nor sit around in bars.

Patrick spoke about getting nothing but spam. I've never experienced spamming, unless you're talking about the dudes that just send out emails to everyone without actually reading your profile. But that's easy enough to figure out by the text of their email and voila....I just block them.

Again, I'm sorry neither of you haven't had a positive experience with online dating. I'm wondering if you're expecting too much from it. If you go into a bar and meet a women, have a great conversation and nothing comes of it, you don't stop going in that bar, right? My suggestion? Email a few women (even if they aren't Ms. Perfect). Meet them for coffee. What's the worst that can happen? You meet an interesting person and have to suffer the discomfort of sending a polite "nice to meet you, best of luck" dear John email? So what? Take a chance and stop blaming the sites for your dating woes!

Well I hate to break it to you vtdater but you misunderstood. I'm not talking just about quality women. I was sending out emails all the time to many different women and they all turned out to be spam. When I didn't send out email and just waited for a response from someone I didn't get any.

I don't go out to bars because I don't enjoy the bar scene considering I don't drink and I don't like the smell of smoke. I do go out with my friends and every time I happen to run across a female they don't seem interested. I'm a down to Earth nice guy. I'm not a freak. I'm just your average guy.

I'm happy to hear you aren't having any problems on dating sites. I have nothing but problems on all of them.
Sorry vtdater. I have to disagree with you on this one.

Hey Patrick,
I feel your pain but I'm on the female side of the fence.
And I just got scammed by not only attempted by the respondents who contacted me but the site (BE2) I signed up with.
I'm not overly happy with online dating right now either but I do have to agree with the last female who reponded.
Don't give up. In my last foray into online dating I met several great guys one of whom I am still friends with despite the fact he is married now with two children.
I have been divorced 13 years now and have not had much luck anyway either online, meeting through friends and family or random meetings.
I am not sure what it is.
Maybe as humans wer are all too gaurded and afraid to take risks.
All I know is that I wish a great-sounding guy like you would strike upo a conversation and ask me for coffee. i am still old-fashioned I guess and am waiting for the guy to make the first move.
Please don't give up, try a reputable site like Christian Cafe and be careful with your personal information until you are sure the person is legit.
We are out there and you can find someone, just keep trying.

DO GIVE UP AND GO TO ASIAN MASSAGE PARLORS

It is cheaper and less drama than dating.

after 7 years of wasting my dinte using on line dating, i went back to the hookers and have never been more at peace.

As for the stuck up women, let them watch TV like i did for nearly a decade

It seems to me like the majority of the women on these sites are really looking for a Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. The rest, likes and dislikes, don't really seem to matter. I found two perfectly matched women on Ok Cupid and wrote a unique two paragraph email to each of them. Neither one of them bothered to write me back. I couldn't believe my eyes! I thought I had found the perfect match but it turned out to probably be a fake profile for all I know.

*sigh*

I'm right there with you in the same boat man. Between my time on okcupid and plentyoffish I've probably sent out about 50 very thoughtful, poilte messages to women I shared things in common with. I've heard back from 3. I'm an average looking guy, extremely nice, and I'm even in a pretty successful local rock band. Still can't get any attention. I eventually exchanged numbers with those 3, and it's hard getting them to text me at all anymore. They talk to me like crazy one day, ignore me for the next week or two. They tell me to call them, and then never answer or call back.

I don't understand the points the two female posters were trying to make. I'm sure they have had some good dates from online sites. It would be fairly simple to do so when you have 20 new messages waiting for you every time you log in. From there you just pick and choose who you want to talk to. Easy.

Truth be told, the online dating scene is so over-saturated with guys it's insane. We are a dime a dozen. They're probably not fake profiles sorry to say, they just have tons of other guys (probably better looking) messaging them so why talk to you or me?

That being said, two-paragraph first messages might be a bit long. The most succesful template according to the forums is a brief, 3-5 sentence message that ends with a question. So spend a little bit talking about something you have in common, and then end with a question that goes into more detail about that same topic, or maybe ask them something they didn't mention in their profile. Something that's easy for them to respond to. Don't tell them they're pretty unless you just have to, they hear it all the time and will just write you off as being the same as all the other guys. Once you've written the perfect message, hit send and pray. Don't expect anything back though. Just keep pumping out good, personalized messages and you will eventually get lucky. Oh, and try to hit the ones that are currently online, especially on okcupid. Has a higher likelihood of actually being read that way. Good luck.

They are all bad now. I have been using them on and off for about 10 years. I use them as a supplement to meeting someone while out. You can't solely rely on them. But, with that said it honestly has gotten worse. It’s a fad that has had its time. And I'll just say it, there is a reason why the single never been married women are on there! The best dates I have ever had are from divorced women. They get it at least. Nothing serious has ever come from an online dating site. Only the ones met in out in the real world. Most of the women I know who are fun to be around and have a good time would never use the sites. So that should tell you something. As, your female friends who you enjoy hanging out with if they would ever be on a dating site. That will tell you something too.

PATRICK.. FIRST TIME ON A SITE THAT I THOUGHT I WOULD BE MARRIED BUT HE WAS ALSO A SCAM. HE IS SO WHATEVER!
wE ARE I THINK ON THE SAME PAGE..