How do people like eHarmony? Is it worth filling out the long profile?

Joan

The one thing you have to remember with eHarmony is that they present to you the matches based on your profile you created (Using there matching model). You can't perform your own searches. When you do create your profile make sure it is correct. Some people like the matchg model, this allows them not to have to search through thousands of possible matches. Other people enjoy searching. It allows them to expand there search criteria if they so choose.

I tried them out briefly last year. (These comments are based on the site as it existed a year ago. A quick look at the eHarmony's tour makes me think these comments are still valid.) There were a number of things I did not like about the site:

1) The detailed matching on the site can mean that you will match very few people.
2) It's more expensive than other dating sites.
3) They control the vertical; they control the horizontal. The site insists on walking you through a multi-step encounter/dating process.
4) Photos may be hidden at the user's request and shown at a particular point in the dating process. While I appreciate the security aspects of this, I am not willing to spend any time pursuing a serious relationship with someone I am not attracted to. On most dating sites, photos are posted for all to see if they are available.

As I said, I didn't give the site much time to work for me. I got out before the end of the 7-day trial period. I only had a couple of matches in that time (both with hidden photos). Perhaps I should have given the site more time, but I was already used to the experience of other dating sites like Yahoo, Match.com, and loveaccess.com. eHarmony just didn't suit me.

I just joined eharmony. Their personality profile is pretty good. The matches are interesting but I don't know if they are that compatible. For instance- a lot of my matches describe themselves as physically fit- high energy people. I am very laid back.
The other thing is that the matches you have may or may not respond- a lot of them don't respond or close matches permanently based on random whims.
That's my experience so far.

I used eharmony for a year. It is definitely worth it to fill out the profile and find out more about yourself. You can do that without paying and only pay if you want to communicate with a match.

I like their communicationn process. I learned a lot from it.

I have met some nice people on there but no matches yet. Maybe this is because I have my heart set on someone I have met offline.

Good luck to you!

Author: GrahamCrackers
Honestly, I've found EHarmony a HUGE waste of time and effort after filling out the endless drone of questions.
Seems like they don't pay attention to what you're looking for...but what looks good on paper. I was matched with people contstantly 10-15 yrs older, out of state, and had things IN COMMON like 'EATING, WALKING, and FAMILY'. Yeah, THAT is what I'm basing my life on...someone who can walk and eat. You can't see their pictures either, unless you PAY. I'm from the old school of attraction and chemistry. Not that online attraction means in person, but I wouldn't want to strike up a conversation with someone and then be 'repulsed', etc. The profiles were bland and no personality into most of the matches they sent me. I'm HUGE on someone having humor and personality. I'd also like someone opposite some of my qualities. I honestly thought it was taking too much of a 'scientific' approach. I like Match.com and Matchmaker sooo much better. Pictures up front and essays that they write on their personalties, likes, dislikes, etc. EHarmony was like going blind and then being matched for things that usually didn't matter to me. 'Eating???' Everyone likes to eat, or likes their family or 'walking'. To me, it was ludicrous.

I totally agree... it was a waste of time... after taking over an hour to fill out the profile, and then only getting matched with maybe 2 people, I didn't even bother with it after that...

Well, since you asked..

Hi, "Joan"..

I went through the whole blamed incredibly VERY long process of answering all of the questions purely because I wanted my promised free $40 value personality evaluation report.

Guess what?!

My profile was refused with no explanation save for that I didn't meet their requirements for members at that time (six or eight months ago). Their system absolutely refused to let me back into my newly created account, *AND* I have as yet to receive my very publicly promised free personality evaluation report.

Wanna know what I think? Too late.. Gonna share anyway..

I was very honest and upfront when answering the employment/paycheck questions by saying that I was unemployed and had no visible source of income. In my heart of hearts, I feel to this day that, since I was unemployed, they were not interested because they would never be able to drain me for the costs related to their services.

Honest, from the bottom of my heart, that's how I've always felt and nothing, absolutely nothing they ever say nor any cutesy, lovey dovey commercial they produce will ever be able to convince me of anything else. Ever.

The WHOLE time I was taking that test, based on the type of questions and how they were asked, it crossed my mind that they will invariably be using all of that incredibly extended data to make money off of online dating reports you can be guaranteed are being put together somewhere in their files.

It's just something else to think about as the very hopeful and trusting consider shelling out what another member described as possibly higher than average dating referral fees. Personally I'm not into paying someone else to make money off of my life, dating habits, and heartfelt desires..

Hope this at least lends food to thought to someone out there straddling the fence..

Big cyber hug.. May we all find our special somebody out there wherever they may be..

Peace..

Most Outrageous
Talking Rock, Georgia

Oh, PS.. Don't forget to keep your eye on the meat world, too, even as you play online.. Keep in mind Reba's song, "Somebody".. You may very well find that "somebody" you seek right there in the little red car in the lane just next to you..

I'd like to thank everyone for their input. I can't say if it confirms whether eHarmony is right for me, but it's interesting to hear others' experiences. I did AOL personals back 5-6 years ago when it was wide open and free and felt like I wasted a LOT of time, so I am attracted to the concept of EHarmony at least. I just joined. The profile was pretty much right on the money for me, so hopefully it will be for the guys, too. Plus, I'm in my 50's and there are far fewer available people in my age group so a service of some kind seems necessary as looking locally doesn't yield a lot other than married men looking for flings.
I don't like to pay but all the sites charge now, and the fact that the other person pays too says something about the seriousness of their intent. The free or cheaper sites also seem to bring out the playas, and honestly, is there anyone out there who feels they need more anonymous rejection in their life?
The guided communication does seem a bit stodgy but they now have "Fast Track" where you can go right to open communications if both parties agree. The idea of guiding the initial back and forth is to control what I definitely saw happen a lot on the more open AOL forum, which is to keep people from pissing each other off right away! People make snap judgements based on typos, spelling, humor that didn't translate well into writing, and so on.
I'm a little nervous because eHarmony doesn't give you a chance to communicate body type and so many guys (and probably women too) are so fixated on looks that they won't make any effort to know a person if they don't have some ideal appearance.
So I would like to see a bit more clarity around what you are looking for facially: a 1, a 10, or something in between, and what body types you can accept, maybe also on a 1-10 scale, from "marshmallow plus" at one end to 1% body fat at the other(and running a marathon a day to get rid of THAT fat).

Hi, "Pam".. Your opening was spoken as one who had already posted here, but I couldn't find an earlier post to respond to. Maybe I just misread that.


Wow.. That's great.. Do consider yourself fortunate that they sent you one.. Who knows, it's sounding already like maybe you will be one of the ones who doesn't end up complaining about the site.


Did you try looking over to the left of the screen for these:

Dating Over 50: FiftyYearsPlus.com, Prime Singles, Senior FriendFinder

If it were me, I'd maybe even start out first by trying the BBB Online to see what, if any, complaints have been turned in on either of those three. If you dig around on the BBB website, you'll find a place to track down online businesses.

Oh, and if you've already been there, done that, maybe you could share that, too? I'm sure others would probably want to see a separate thread but maybe not.

At 46, I'm not quite ready to look at the over 50's yet myself because I'm very much a kid at heart. I've ALWAYS been a good ten years younger in mind than I am in body. Match has taken it upon themselves to continually (try to) throw me into the 50~yr~old plus guys speedmatching category, and that just doesn't cut it for me. I've just started conversation with a very nice gentleman of 45 who sounds like he'd love an apprentice in the garage when he pulls his next old motor. I'm game..

As for flings, unfortunately one is going to find those types no matter where one goes for services, and "flingers" come from all walks of life. Just keep one eye on the social register for a few days to quickly verify that one. It is very sadly the nature of the beast, so to speak, and the Internet has literally placed the world at the feet of those who want to cheat. It then just becomes a matter of whether they want to cheat with someone who could afford Site A or Site B..


Yes, and no.. There's one that I can't tell if it's just getting its feet wet or if it has been around for a while. I found it a few months ago while it was called CyberSoulmates. It has just been renamed to NetRelate. There are (or was [nature of the cyber beast :)]) some somewhat limited free functions on there including 3 hours playing on the message boards and two free emails to other members each day.

I've had communication with I'm assuming the webmaster. Questions are frequently answered almost as soon as they are sent. But.. Based on some limited communication with the site admin, I will say that they are definitely not as professional as other sites out there. I don't think one is dealing with kids there, but one is definitely dealing with a company that might benefit from a quick course in Customer Relations and Communications.

I almost got the feeling that it could very well be someone doing what I'd like to do. Throw a huge server up in a garage somewhere and give people a much more accessible, fun place to play while keeping a careful eye out to make sure the raunch level is zip. Members at NetRelate are and *MUST BE* cordial to each other at all times, so it is at the very least a very nice place to visit while one is still searching on other sites, including your eH..


There's definitely been a lot of bantering back and forth around the Net about that one. In my own case, I don't let the size of someone's wallet or how fast they open it be what I base another's intentions on.

I know many, many very nice seriously intentioned people out there who, just by the grace of whatever Fate rules their life, could not afford unreasonably excessive fees at all or for very long. A lot of character can be built in one who is not immediately handed everything just because they can pay for it at whim and will. Good intentions, character, heart, and soul most definitely are not something that can be bought for any amount of money.. It can only come from the inside.

I think if I kept running into a big problem of poorly~intentioned people, I might have a friend sit down with me and go through any profiles of interest. I definitely could see working together to pick out the deeper intentions of prospective suitors by jointly trying to read between the lines. Then again, there will always be those who will manipulate words and hearts just to get what they want..


Insert above again ("As for flings").. Playas can come in all wallet sizes and levels of willingness to open those same wallets.. I've always had it in my head that someone with a bigger or wide open wallet has more resources to cover his cheating heart and lifestyle.. Guess it's just coming from what we've each experienced in life in the past.


As a mental health advocate, nothing ticks me off more than when, in the quiet times, I realize that, at their roots, these sites are taking advantage of the very lonely and desperate. So sad, so heartbreaking.. Trust me when I say it has been one of my personal focuses lately, just looking for a professional in the area to pick up the ball and run with it.. Again, it boils down to my personal quest to make sure that people go out there into the cyber dating world with their eyes wide opened..


I have to laugh very loudly at that one. Whew.. I do not post a pic on anything I play on because I have been told repeatedly that I am very recognizable. Because I very much prefer to protect my meat world anonymity, I get the same thing you speak of. They don't want to speak to someone unless they can see them. I myself have always fallen in love with words first. Someone who is "so fixated on looks", as you said, is DEFINITELY not who a nice person like you (or me ) needs to even think about.


Yep. Right on up to an "I'll exercise if you will" or "100% couch potato so byte me" kind of thing..

Pam, I sure do hope you find what you are looking for. Thank you SOOO much for temporarily destracting me from the work I really should be doing.

Through how you present yourself in your own words, you definitely know what it is you have in mind. Very cool. I'll bet you find it soon. Best of luck and good wishes in your quest at eH. Please don't forget to brag when things work out for you..

Peace..

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