Let me first say that I am a male 64 years old. I'm not too bad to look at and I can see my belt buckle with no problem. I'm neat and clean, just bought a house in N.C., and my car is not a bucket of bolts. My wife died some years ago and I am finally getting back into dating. I've had a few dates, some good, some bad. The latest date that I had really set me off. She is a woman that I am very interested in and seeing that she is 61 years old I "assumed" that we had the same values as far as dating. Yes, I am from that era when doors were held open for women and the man paid for the dates, no problem as far as I'm concerned. This latest woman set me off by saying repeatedly that I am a "good guy". I am tired of hearing this phrase from women.. Women complain that they are treated like sh*t by men but when a "good guy" comes along they are not interested in a commited relationship. If you don't treat them like crap they don't seem to be interested!

Like I said, I am very interested in this woman and can see the two of us being very happy together someday. Her former husbands were abusive to her, so she says, and I am tired of paying for someone elses sins. I didn't do it and I refuse to take the blame for the men in her past. So how can I get past this "good guy" label and get her to at least see me for who I am and not the "men" she has known?

Sometimes after years in an abusive or intolerable marriage, a woman just wants a breath of air. Dating is one way to stay vital and active, but it doesn't mean she's ready to settle down again any time soon, perhaps not ever. Instead of thinking you can change her mind, or focusing on the picture in your mind that you two would be perfect for each other, accept that the relationship you're currently in with her is perfect for the now...and stay in the now for now. When conditions change you'll know and if you don't like the pattern of needing more that she's not willing to give, keep your options open and move forward. Don't look back and don't stay with one who does. Good luck.