I'm been single now for almost 9 months and have tried eHarmony, friend finders, match doctor, american singles, and a few others only to find out that most of these sites are expensive and very intrusive, especially eHarmony!

The questionnaire is very long and time consuming while profile views are very limited to say the least, which is why I decided to keep trying to find a dating site that provided me with privacy, and freedom to choose from men in my immediate local area of NYC without having to commit to anything serious.

In my opinion filling in the questionnaire is the least of your problems with eHarmony. eHarmony's questions are meant to be intrusive as they are seeking honest in depth responses. Regardless that is not the problem with eHarmony. The problem is that despite this it sends matches based on the most superficial of qualities. And in fact their four step communication process encourages superficiality. One ultimately gets very little for their money and the founder, Dr. Warren, seeks to impress his very narrow view of the world through his so called advice which is little more than the shallow platitudes of somebody with a very limited view of the world. What makes it even more discouraging is that he is a man in his seventies who bases this view of his on a lifetime of experience including apparently over thee decades in practice as a therapist. Dr. Warren expresses views which are openly prejudicial and exclusionary.

However eHarmony stresses, and this is once again the founder's view of the world, that it is trying to help people find a partner for the rest of their lives. So in that respect I am certain it is not for you based on your second paragraph where you said you were not looking to commit to a serious relationship.

E Harmony in theory is a good idea. The questioonaire is designed to screen out the non serious and slso to match you with the most compatiable person(s) in their date base.

That SAID, I too took the bait and filled out the questionnaire. It was easy to see where it was all leading.

They wanted you sto want to be wealthy and have the attitude that nothing will stand in your way of material happiness and that if you poscess this mindset, you may get matched up.

But I answered honestly and I guess I was too laid back for them .

I got one of those 'you do not match our criteria' messages.

Easy test to fool so it really does not do much screening.

Most of the women at eharmony seemed fat and/or unattractive.

And since they don't let you do your own searches, where you might actually find a decent female, it's worthless.

Welcome to 95% of the people that are real on those dating websites... they aren't all exactly model material. (not to be mean)

So because I'm fat, I'm not decent? You certainly DO NOT belong on eharmony! FYI- I'm more than beautiful but you'll never know.

gotta say the same for men! not much of a selection very dissapointing

I find very stupid, that grown men who look less than decent (not to say with problems both in their head and emotional) want to pair with good-looking women, and women want to pair only with cute and fit individuals...Know what ? Get a life ! First and first of all, look in the mirror. Secondly, that way of thinking keeps an individual lonely ! Shallowness ! Learn to want your partner firstly for what it is, and not for how it looks. Secondly, nobody said that you must date anybody, just place your standards accordingly ! I don't take part with no websites that have a match making system, but it drives me crazy when i see mental people !
Of course those questions are meant to be personal (intrusive seems like a bad choice of words) that's how they learn about WHO YOU ARE and not just HOW DO YOU LOOK ! Ah, but now we get to the real problem: in eHarmony's case that system is not well implemented. That's the real problem, and nothing else people.

Straight to the point Mickey. Well said!

All your responses are indicative of why e harmony fails. None of the ladies respond. Not even a, no thank you. That's all us guys really need. Also 85% of the women there have 2-5 children and your requirement for a man are somewhere between mark Zuckerberg and Chizzle Mc muscle Chest. About the same number of you own those stupid little dogs. At least get a real dog for goodness sakes. You want a man like your dog. Weak, submissive, and responds to your every command with joy, taking what ever scraps you offer. Inner beauty? What electron microscope do guys need to see this "inner beauty," you speak of?
I have a suggestion ladies. Stop telling yourselves how collectively amazing you are, and just be reasonable and have some accountability.