are there any that are at least somewhat legit? any references? looks like most are a total fraud.

I don't think there are any legit sites anymore. I have never found a single legit woman on any of the dozens of websites I've tried in the past 5 years including the most popular ones.

Honestly dude, if there were, how many men do you think would completely gangspam them? The fact that we're all here frustrated pretty much attests to the fact that the concept is impossible.

I think that most of the adult dating sites either are total scams or at least use fraudulent practices to trick men into paying for membership. However, I can vouch for the fact that there are REAL women on some sites. AshleyMadison has pretty healthy number of real women in my area. I've met with five and slept with three of those in the last few months, but that took sending out countless winks to every woman who logged in in my area and quite a few messages to probably 20 women, most of whom simply ignored me. From talking to the women I've met on the site, they get so hammered with winks, messages, and chat requests that they just can't reply to everyone. ONe big problem I'm running into with AshMad is that a lot of the women seem to join just to convince themselves that they COULD have an affair if they really wanted to. Thanks for wasting my time and money, ladies! The competition is fierce for us guys. The women have it easy.

I have also met one woman on Fling, but she totally misrepresented herself, so nothing happened. I know for a fact that Fling uses misleading tactics to trick men into joining. It's the same old story, all kinds of winks and messages until you pay, then nothing. It's almost total bull*censored*, but there are still real women on the site.