My week isn't going too well. My partner of 2+ years has lied to me about their sexual past before us. I do not want to go into details, but I directly asked my partner if they performed a particular act with person(s) and they waffled once, denied, then got angry at me! The truth has been revealed and confirmed by the other person(s) and it happened since they like to brag and have big mouths. The "act" is significant and says a lot about their character. It is hard to forget. BTW, my partner still denies it to me.

But, Do you forgive and forget? I am upset that they lied, and that they participated in the act........ both made me angry. They didn't know me when they did this act, but the lying says to me that they have lied about other things too. how can i trust them ever again?

The lie is the issue.

if they lie about one thing what makes them not lie about other stuff where does it end?

Ummm—-why did they get angry? I bet because you caught them in the lie.

Well, i echo everyone else that responded. It's the lie that gets you. You weren't around back when it happened, but it's the lie that is troubling. If people can lie once, they can lie twice and on and on. I think you need to think through this some more and see if you can trust someone that broke your trust once. I would have a hard time with it----- but it's a personal decision for sure.

I’m still really struggling with this. I don’t know if the person I fell in love with is really the person I think they are. Has this all been a huge lie? Are they faking who they are to me? I would never have fallen in love if I know what I know now?!!!?

Sometimes people learn about someone's true self after you are married, maybe even after you have kids or after years and years of marriage. People sometimes fake who they are in order to get married (their clock is ticking, or they see a wealthy partner with family money). My BFF married someone who said all the right things prior to marriage. They had big talks about big things and the other person answered everything exactly how the other person wanted to hear. You can't fake who you are forever, so later they realized who they REAAAAALLLLY married. Is it bad? Yes, it is because you are probably really really really upset. Is there some good news? Yes there is because now you know what you needed to know and can figure out your next move.

If you find out you got married to the wrong person you have options. Some easy some tough some that impact kids but you shouldn’t suffer because of a bad decision you made when you were a young person

Past is the past. Are you just jealous?

Ugh please. Jealousy isn't the point here. Relationships have to be built on honesty and trust. That's why marriages that end up in divorce are usually due to a cheating partner, or serious issues based on lies.