She cheated on me 12 years ago and i caught her. said she wouldn’t do it again and she loved me. Lots of tears. Things were rough but then seemed ok. Not the best marriage but it was ok. Three kids later life seems hectic. on a schedule with work and kids. No romance but that’s life. I work hard to provide.

Fast forward to now. She has been cheating on me since then for years and No odd calls or texts tipped me off . Little hints tipped me off. suddenly obsessed with losing weight and looking good. Fancy haircuts and appointments and new clothes. None of it was for me. claimed to be innocent over and over and over and she loved me. She lead another life in chat rooms with coworkers and random men. Met with guys after work. Sometimes when I was traveling for work. Had sex with men in our bed at home when she was off work during the week. The same bed that i sleep in. Her best friend watched the kids so she could run an “errand” without them. I’m not sure if the friend knew or was blind. Sometimes she asked my mom or her mom to watch them to run to a doctor appointment. No one can argue that. She was just going to the doctors. F$ck no.

Things seemed off with us. knew she didn’t really love me the way she acted. felt the same way i did 12 years ago. We got in a fight over stupid sH!t and the truth came poring out. She was sleeping around. I yelled at her and demanded the truth. She said I don’t need details. I’m not sure I want to hear them anyway. She said I never loved her so why should I care. What the f$ck.

Now she’s standing her ground?? doesn’t want a divorce?? Let fix this?? She sees my paycheck and our house and doesn’t want to lose the financial security. She could give a sh!t about me. Claims she wants to be with me and wants attention from me not other men. How the hell can I give her attention when I can’t even look at her???? She uses the kids as pawns and says we should stay together for them.

she will never change. She will always be the same cheater. She loves the attention. can’t love her again. I see her and I’m furious at her for ruining my life.

kids need me. I know this. Looking to future and who would ever want me with three kids and a crazy ex (?)???!

Drowning in life. Advice please~ Anything.

I’m very sorry this happened to you. You deserve better out of a spouse.

I don’t have specific advice but wanted to let you know I read your post and I really felt your pain.

I hope you can heal.

I agree with the above poster. I am sorry that this happened to u. It happens to a lot of good people so u aren't alone in the world. stay strong.

I know you have kids but still. She sounds awful. Respect yourself.

You deserve love.

Take a breath. Your story is horrible but you will be ok. You don't need her and her drama. You don't need to be disrespected any longer. No one should ever have someone else sleeping with their wife in their bed. That is gross and disgusting and I hope you are sleeping somewhere else far away from her and especially that bed until you make a decision. She doesn't get what she wants now. She doesn't get to decide to keep you and be satisfied with you now. You weren't good enough for her before and she strayed. She only wants you now because she was caught. If she loved you she wouldn't have done this with multiple guys. That's making a poor decision over and over and over again.

She's standing her ground and doesn't want a divorce? When she chose to sleep with other guys in your bed, she gave up her choices. She should be happy you didn't throw her out of the house, take the kids, and never speak with her again. I'm sorry to say this but you can never trust her again. A person can't sleep around on you, then suddenly become a loving partner and wife. They did it once, and they will do it again and again. Can you imagine looking her in the eyes and ever seeing love again? You'll look in her eyes and see the lies and the cheating. You'll think of her poor decisions and how she had no consideration of you or your marriage. You'll always wonder if she is telling the truth, or if she is just playing you.

Keep the kids happy and support them in every way you can. Time to tell your wife that made her decision when she f*ucked other people behind your back.

Thanks for the support. Current status is that I refuse to take her back knowing about her cheating past. Ironically she tested positive for an STD since my post! She didn’t tell me but I found the medication in the bathroom. I have even more proof of her actions, and know that she was having sex with someone in the last 3 months. She is sleeping in our bed and I’m sleeping in our spare bedroom permanently. I refuse to sleep in the same room with her and especially where she was having sex. I’m evaluating the best options for me and my children.

Take the power back. You’re strong. Good job!

I always tell people to follow their heart. In this case your wife was following her vagina. Doesn’t sound like she loved these guys. She just wanted to F^ck around and make you into a fool.

Time to move on. Marriage isn’t for life when your wife is sleeping around.