Grant was a willing participant when we had sex with my girlfriend. (He would have sex with her, and we had sex together as a group.) He encouraged us to have sex all together. He was just pissed when I had sex with men on my own... and that i actually cared for them. Trust me, the open marriage benefited him and he got his thrills from it. He's not a victim.

I’m trying to help you. These are meant to be nice. It sounds like your husband introduced you to group sex/threesomes and you were a willing participant too. But......This doesn’t sound like a good or healthy marriage at all. This doesn’t sound like you are each other’s soul mates either. It sounds like you both aren’t happy if you went outside the marriage with men or women or both. You need to love ONLY each other. Fully. 150 percent. Would die for each other. I’d suggest a trial separation where one of you lives in a separate place. Then ask yourselves: do I miss him/her? Does he/she make me happy? Am I excited to see him/her and want to do shared fun hobbies together? Do I want to do special things for him/her like surprises, lunches out, date nights, etc? I can tell you that I found the love of my life a little later in life. I know this guy is absolutely the most perfect love. We connect on every level possible. We finish each other’s sentences, love to share meals, have very similar interests, love to talk, etc. It’s like once we met we formed a permanent connection between our hearts. From all your posts you don’t have this and are really in it for the wrong reasons. Now, unless the answers to my questions are: I miss him all the time. He makes me so so happy. I’m excited to be with him and see him. We enjoy being together and doing things together. I love buying him surprises, making him dinner and his favorite cookies, and showing my love for him everyday....... well if it isn’t this, you made a mistake. My advice is that you need to move on.

My husband Grant and I opened up our marriage a few years ago based on some infidelity. Now, I’m sure I don’t want in this marriage for long term. Holding on for the kids. I guess this is perfect example of open marriages that fail. Should I ask for a divorce?

Open marriages are never a solution. They just cause problems. Open marriages after infidelity is even worse. May I ask who cheated? If he cheated on you, the suggestion to do an open marriage is his way of continuing to cheat on you. Don’t be dumb.