Hi,

I am a single guy and long term eharmony user, previously I was having a lot of good luck using their service, I met my now ex from there and went on a tonne of dates. What really helped me was their old guided communication process which broke down the process of getting to know somebody into a series of stages. I found that if anyone was willing to make the effort to do that with you, it often lead to a date since it required some effort to do and did a good job with helping you get to know somebodies personality in a series of stages.

Anyway fast forward, Eharmony recently changed the way you communicate to a match.com style, once you get a match, you can send them a message directly. The problem that I am having now, is where many women are not responding to my initial messages which comprises of 'hi how is your weekend shaping up?' this is after receiving an ice breaker with them sending a 'smile' back at me after looking at my profile.

I have contacted customer support about their latest changes, and their attitude is that it's done now, and I have to accept it. So I am wondering if other people using eharmony are finding communicating with matches even more difficult now? I am aware that girls will probably have it easier, so any input from guys using eharmony would help or advice from women.

Thanks

I liked the guided communication process as well for the same reasons as you. I haven't used eHarmony in a while (I was in a relationship) but from my understand of an interview I saw is that they still have the guided communication process but have gust added real time chatting?

Is this true or have they dumped the guided communication process? I hope not as that was a unique feature that worked well.

They have completely dumped it and replaced it with real time chatting. I have complained to customer support about this but they are stubborn about their latest changes, thinking that its a much better way to get to know somebody.

...3 weeks using the real time chatting having much more of a hard time getting matches to communicate. Often ignored after the initial message. Ironically it's much harder to get to know anybody where a lot more pressure is put on the guys first message.

Trying to give the real time chatting a time but I'm still getting absolutely no where with it.

I've had 10 icebreakers, since the new system came into play none of my matches have bothered to respond. I can see that they are active since they are posting updates. Actually wonder why they bothered to pay for online dating to ignore people.

Old guided communication would have gone on 3-4 dates with the same number of icebreakers.

Signed up to OK Cupid , eharmony has started to frustrate me , combination of lack of responses and waiting 24 hours to get new matches is driving me nuts. I'm now contemplating cancelling my subscription.

Thank you eharmony for ruining an otherwise good product, you need to fire your product manager for removing guided communication. You suck now.

I in the midst of giving the new messages a try with the written questions to see if it works the same and I get the same results.

I reckon that you will have better luck since you are a girl and guys will respond since many like me have a really hard time getting noticed on dating apps generally.

The problem is that it's harder keeping a conversation going , there is a lot more pressure writing high quality messages otherwise as a guy you risk being ignored.

If you do this to any guy, let me know why and how to improve the approach.

Just read that eharmony have decided to ditch their questionnaire from sign up in an effort to make it easier to join.

This explains why there are so many time wasters now with the quality of the site degrading.

Anyway, I want to use an alternative app which is more like old school eharmony, really pissed off by the results I am getting on there now. From a very good response rate to an extremely poor response rate since the changes were introduced.

Agreed. Anyone found an app like eHarmony's old guided communication?

I am also really disappointed with the eharmony changes. I finally got frustrated enough to start searching for a different service.
I just tried OKcupid, and I like it much better so far. They also have a questionnaire, not personality based, but still very practical. You can see as many profiles as you want at any time (instead of eharmony's slow spoon-feed), and it costs much less. I wish there was a guided getting to know you process, but it is just messaging (for free, don't need to pay). It is not dedicated to people looking for more serious commitments, but still they are there and you will be matched with them if you make it a strong preference in your questionnaire. The service is more user-friendly and adaptable overall. (No, I am not affiliated or getting any profit from writing this. It is my true experience.)

When people aren't members, they can't read or respond to messages.