Hi,

I need advice, my best friend and I have been sleeping together for quite some time now...and I have fallen in love with him well you know my love for him changed from plutonic too I want to be with him...and I know he cares about me and loves and is obviously attracted as he has been sleeping with me and lets me know what he thinks about my looks. Should I pursue him as a lover or should I quiet my heart and continue to be his best friend???

Thanks for replies...

Well you got yourself in a doosie, didn't you. Sorry to say these situations never work out to well.

The best advice I have is to swallow your heart and maybe have a easy going conversation with him about taking it to far.

Say something like, I think we should stop sleeping together and say your concered about the friendship, stress that the friendship is important and that you don't want either of you too get hurt.

Then see what he says? Use your gut to measure his reaction, facial expression, body language, etc. If he says your right, most likely he is just enjoying the sex.
If he pushes that he cares about you, then say, well can you see us together some day, or is this just for fun?
Say I need to know for myself, and for our friendship?

That should give you enough to go on for now.

I had a similar experience in college. I found that once you sleep with your "best" friend or even develop feelings it's impossible to go back to just being friends. Someone will get hurt (it was me) and then friendship I found, was not possible. I wish I had just stayed single and dated someone else.