Try Collarspace.com, large dating site, and Fetlife.com, the latter will give you information about local events as well , amongst other things.
Be careful, a lot of ignorant people and some scammers on Collar Space. Stay safe.
Fetlife is more like facebook for kinksters, with a lot of bells and whistles. it is not specifically a dating site, but no one objects if you contact people that look interesting.
IMO both sites are free and safe for signup.
Some advice : first of all, no *censored* picture for your profile picture. you may laugh, but many guys still do that.
second, if you contact someone that looks like you someone might want to talk to don't be an ass about it. be polite, and friendly, like you would be if you were to meet someone at a party. Don't just go "hey i want this and that, and you are sub, so you have to give it to me. " that will get you blocked. THese are not just kinksters, they are PEOPLE .
Good luck.
Mistymouse ( my nym on either site)
Hello everyone here, Thanks for accepting me. I'm Mistress Terri by name, 25 years old, I'm looking for a good, honest, truthful, obedient and understanding slave to own and collar 24/7 in the Bdsm lifestyle again.
I would say that the one of the best BDSM dating sites is safebdsm.net. Huge plus is the fact that is 100 legit in that way that there are literally no fakes or scammers. People there are also really friendly and there are no harassers unlike most others sites. However I have heard that there are really few dominant females(especially straight) so for submissive males that place is not probably the best option, but for everyone else.... Definitely!