Thanks to some of the women who have posted here about their experiences

Some of you asked about meeting local people, but did not include where in the world you live. So it is impossible to provide any sugestions.

As to a recent post about reviews and ALT - all those review sites are themselves FAKE. No one would ever list Alt.com with a favorable review except the owners of Alt.com.

Alt.com is scam from start to finish - although I know some pro dommes who use it just as another way to advertise.

MOST of the BDSM related dating sites out there, from SpankingPersonals to bdsmfriendsnetwork to FindaFemdom, are all the same company, using the same database of users.

There are real people there, probably mostly real, but 90% of the search results are people whose profile hasn't been updated in years, and their status just says "a few weeks ago" or "more than two weeks ago."

So searching by "Near Me" is worthless. The best thing to do is go to Browse and pick "Recent Activity" and "New Users". But be prepared for 99% of the people to be nowhere near you. And those who are will either be way too young for you or way too old.

I live in NYC, where one would think there would be MORE people looking. But on all those sites, there are way more people from the Midwest and other states than NYC, unless you are into African-American BBWs, as they make up the majority of NYC women posting ads on those sites.

Anyone in a major city who is willing to go to clubs or places where people "play" around other people have a much better chance than someone like me, who wants to keep all intimacy PRIVATE in a real relationship.

We are basically doomed to never finding anyone. I like to read the ads on Craigslist, and it is the same people - FOR YEARS - both the prostitutes and the legitimate people just trying to find someone with compatible sexuality.

Very depressing.

Where are you located? I am a Dom in Minneapolis, MN that has been looking for a sub for some time now without much luck.

Hello, for a kink website There's get dare (add forums for google search tho) and kinktalk. Its mostly online but there are people from pretty much everywhere and people do tend to meet sometimes! There's also lots of information on safety and such

Fetster is absolutely ridiculous, they deleted my account for literally no reason and when made new account to ask why it got deleted again. After I looked at reviews found out I wasn't the only one.

Had a femdom give me an email to contact to reserve a dungeon suite and session. They needed cash transfer and then gave me me address afterward. Is this legit?

I was on fetlife. The site is rediculous on some levels. You're allowed to post any pics you want. I learned about the site on okcupid I think where it had this girl who was I believe overweight. Some inboxed me and said its not a dating site.

I am a female sub and I met my last partner on Alt.com.
I know it seems like a long shot because the site seems so bogus, but I truly did meet him there.

We were together for just over a year before it ended (it was an LDR) and now I'm back to square one in terms of finding a Dom.

I am on Fetlife... But it is not a dating site and I have had absolutely NO luck in terms of meeting anyone off there because of that (I really wish they'd add a dating option for all of those of us who actually ARE looking).

Living in suburbia in Ontario means that there are literally NO options around here in terms of events unless I feel like trekking to TO....which I prefer not to do for various reasons.

So, I definitely sympathize with your frustrations.
I've tried apps like KNKI and Vanilla Umbrella and dating sites like BDSM.com and all I get are men from other countries, men who are at least 20 years older than me, wannabe Doms who don't actually have a clue, or men who are only looking for a hookup or FWB.

What we kinky folks NEED is for Fetlife to make a dating app extension to their site. I personally wouldn't have an issue paying for it if they did.

You'd honestly think it wouldn't be as hard for sub women to find a male Dom (seeing as how everyone seems to think the ratios are well in our favour).... But I assure you that even we women struggle with finding viable partners in this lifestyle despite how easy some people say it is for us.

I spent the last couple of months, surfing through all these website, I Live in UK and I can say that the best site I used is bdsmdate.co.uk. Not all profiles are genuine but you will defiantly some real persons willing to meet. I don't know if it works outside UK or not.

I live in Ontario as well (Grimsby) 20 years old, some experience. Maybe we could chat a bit

I would say that the one of the best BDSM dating sites is safebdsm.net. Huge plus is the fact that is 100 legit in that way that there are literally no fakes or scammers. People there are also really friendly and there are no harassers unlike most others sites. However I have heard that there are really few dominant females(especially straight) so for submissive males that place is not probably the best option, but for everyone else.... Definitely!

This is from a very long time Male Dom perspective.

Fetlife is nothing more than Facebook for kinksters. Most of the people in there are looking for attention by seeing how many "followers" and "likes" they can collect or they are exhibitionists who just want to post as many pics as they can.
There are a few that are legit (been on there for a year looking to meet people and it's been frustrating to even get someone to reply to a simple friendly message.) but they are very few and far between. May be better odds in the big cities but in Reno/Carson City Nevada, it's somewhat of a joke and a waste of time. You can find group munches and dungeon events though and that's your best bet to actually meet people off that mess of a site. Their search function is horrendous btw. They really need a revamp on the site.

Collarspace is a collection of scammers. Most of them are the "I will move in as your slave, just send me money for transportation" types. Soon as you ask them to send a pic of themselves with your name on a piece of paper as proof, POOF, they're gone.

Craigslist was where I had best success and that was a crapshoot, but now they bailed on personal ads because they didn't want to actually have to weed out the prostitutes and scammers.