I'm in Sydney and immediately started receiving messages when I signed up even before I had any pix. I did an advance search for girls of Asian background and over the next few weeks I got several messages from members of Asian background. Funny that .... I bought some credits to read the messages. The messages wrote "Do you give chat?, "I'm online", "I'm here". Needless to say I didn't get a reply when I responded. Apparently these members are market researches and you can tick a box so that they donlt send you messages. Well I did but every couple of weeks it would revert back to unticked and I'd get more of the fake messages. Anything is good to suck up your credits. Enough said account closed!

Ashley Madison clearly has fake profiles. One way to tell is to hotlist the "girls" who immediately send you collect messages and check out your hotlist when you logon. You will notice these "girls" are always online. Always. No real person is ever always online. Other major pifalls to know about with the AM scam are: priority mail (5 credits) is checked off by default in the profile options, as is "Check this to keep topping up your credits when you run out".

I am sorry to say that I met a man on Ashley Madison and received a good beating and a threat to have my beautiful face beaten until it was unrecognizeable--this from a widower! I was pleading for my life and I was in pain with a shoulder injury which put me out of my ballet classes for several weeks and a good deal of money in hospital fees not to mention emotional duress and weekly vists with a domestic violence counselor. Please beware ladies!

What a joke!
It is a total scam.
I have been on the site and upgraded a couple times.

The reason I know its a scam?

I cook.
I know how to cook.
I am an excellent cook.
And I put this in my profile an get nothing.

I am 40. Married. Divorced. Expoeriened. Able to go anywhere. Make $350K a year. In excellent health. Fun.

...and I know how to cook.

No bites.

I will stay with my current girlfriend...

I am female and I have met some nice men on there, I talk to them often on the phone. I posted earlier about a domestic violence issuse. Well, I called up a customer representative and he was really mean--he actually defended this man! Soon after that, I found that I could no longer access my site. There is a criminal case against this man and he is still on there! I feel like I am the one who is being punished--not this man who I feel is dangerous. I think they are afraid of a lawsuit and I believe there is one already ongoing, but not regarding this,just about scams! If anyone has been hurt physically please let me know .

Here's the real scoop on AM.

OK, so I think guys are going to be disappointed with AM. AM markets the "sizzle, not the bacon" and guys get excited expecting the impossible--a site full of hot horny women, waiting to cheat with you! Yes, there is definitely some sleazy stuff going on, but here's the real explanation why it's so hard to find satisfaction on this site.

1. AM has affiliate programs that allow third parties to contact you in the guise of a member.

2. AM uses bots to collect "marketing" information. This also serves to make it look like there's more female activity than there really is.

3. Most of the profiles are not active. If a non-member woman wants to see what's going in at AM, she has to create a temporary profile. She just takes a look, perhaps browses for a few hours, then moves on with her life. But her profile remains in AM for a long time. Again, this gives the impression that there are more women than there really are.

4. Many prostitutes, sugar-baby wannabees hang out there hoping to catch some business.

5. Many men create a fake female profile so they can check out the competition or figure out how AM works.

6. The few legitimate women on the site are bombarded with emails, many of them offensive, so they only answer a few.

7. If a legitimate woman finds a good affair, she tends to stop checking her account, but the account remains there.

All these tend to make it appear that there is more female activity than there really is.

The bottom line is that this is not a good site to find a lover. There are just too few women on it. But if you're going to try, here are some tips: forget any profiles that have a full face on them (not legitimate), forget profiles that haven't been checked in 7+ days (not active), look for profiles with personal comments on them--the woman cares enough about this experience to reveal herself. (although many women put minimal information on their profile because they are intimidated about revealing themselves), if a woman messages you first (unlikely), then check her profile. A few (usually new) women sometimes do message first until they start getting hammered with emails, add extra comments to your profile and don't make it all about you, when messaging add some text worth reading, forget winks.

Finally, the few legitimate women on the site are *real people*, and most married women willing to cheat are going to be a little older. Most women are not fashion models or porn stars, so you're going to have to be willing to see beyond the superficial "hot" exterior. This is not an escort service.

I also feel like I was "swindled", but I feel like it has been a good learning experience and a fun little adventure. I've met a few nice (real) women on the site so far. Anyway, caveat emptor!

Good luck!

Registered couple of weeks ago, started getting flirts, messages and profile views almost immediately. All of them were attempts to extort money from me (collect messages, chat sessions that won't open until I pay etc.)

Came across a female profile that was using a photo that I happened to have seen before. It was stolen from Flickr. I wrote to support to report it but they never responded, and the profile is still up.

So I got interested and started searching, and eventually located not two, not five, but TEN fake profiles that were using stolen photos. You know what was interesting about those profiles? They were always online, 24*7, and all ten of them have sent me "collect" messages the moment I clicked on them for the first time - but never again.

Of course I reported all ten of them as fakes using stolen photos, and of course there was no response from the site support to any of those reports.

How much more proof do you need?..



So Called Ashley Madison = S.C.A.M.


Stay the hell away.

I have heard of more than one case of the so-called female being a male (probably an adolescent or simply a griefer) who is just messing around with someone for kicks. It's the Interwebs so it's full of trolls and griefers just because its there. An adolescent idiot is usually easy to figure out because they have no idea what they are talking about and sound like they got their sexuality out of a porn video. That said, if the person gives you good emails just think of it as a an online roleplaying game and either go with the fantasy or dump out early. Obviously you're not going to meetup with a troll so if that's what you want (rather than just cyber) you're SOL.

As for the above "wink" and "admirer" suggestion -- that has worked for me but it's a roll of the dice. There are some women there who are looking but with such a huge number of men to choose from, they are often going for the creme de la creme -- hot/wealthy/young guys who do nothing but work out all day. The only saving grace for a slightly above average man like me is that I can hold my own in a conversation and be very sexual when they want that. That seems to work once you've gotten past the polite hellos.

I posted earlier about by observations about what's going on with AM. Here's some more info and advice for you. This comes from my own research and from meeting over a dozen real women on AM (online and in person) and asking about their experiences. Any women readers who read this are invited to comment.

I've been lucky enough to chat and meet many women through AM (though none have been what I'm really looking for). The women are there, though in far fewer numbers than you'd believe based on the AM hype (and your own fantasies).

Most of the women I met are very nice, each with an interesting story about why they're there. Ironically, many are there because their boyfriends/husbands cheated on them earlier. Some are there because they are missing passion and intimacy, so not looking for multiple partners, more looking for a "special someone" (their own fantasy).

To get women to talk to you you need three things right off the top:

1. You should send a short but interesting personal message (forget winks, they ignore them). Say something positive on their profile or have a witty thing to say.

2. You should think hard and make a damn good profile. DO NOT list what you want and don't want in a woman, instead describe yourself in the bet possible way. Women read those profiles!

3. Get a couple of DECENT photos of yourself that show you as a quality, charming, handsome man. Smile! And my god, DO NOT show your anatomy!! Every woman I talked to says this is a turnoff, or at best, something to laugh about. If you're getting a woman who asks for photos of your private parts, you can bet it's some teenagers having a big laugh at your expense.

Those are the only three impressions you have to get them to contact you, so make them count. Remember that you are competing against many, many men. By my estimate the ratio is something like 10 or 20 men to 1 real woman. And many of the women are "just curious" and will not really follow up, so the real ratio for available women is probably lower. The game is stacked in the women's favor, so it is easy for them to overlook you. Too bad really, because the women may miss out on some quality people (sometimes it takes time to find a real Prince Charming). But that's how it is, unfortunately.

As soon as possible, get them to use regular email to continue the conversation so they don't have to log on to AM. First, many women can't use the AM website all the time for fear of getting discovered. Second, this way they are more likely to see your future emails, instead of it being buried among 100's of others on the AM site. Third, you don't want them seeing other guy's messages while they're looking at yours. You're in competition with many other men (including me), so get them off AM as fast as possible!

Keep in mind that (for the most part) we are talking about regular people here, not women from porn fantasies. Remember, unless she's looking for a sugar daddy or money, she's taking a huge risk by being on this site. So she needs to feel safe and comfortable with you. These are not party sex girls, most are ordinary women who have ventured our beyond the norm. Also remember that they have their own fantasy at it probably revolves around meeting a "Mr. Right" on the side who makes them feel wonderful. Will they actually take this all the way? Hard to say, fantasy is one thing, but fulfilling it is another. We are talking about real people, not porn fantasies.

Now there are a few outliers and interesting phenomena that you should be aware of. First, there are (very few) women who are indeed looking for multiple partners without expecting money. However, they are very strange people, so be warned! (One that I met truly scared me!) The second observation is this very interesting phenomenon: Because these women are bombarded by men seeking their attention, many start to adopt a "princess" mentality and begin to value themselves much higher than they normally would. They end up using superficial criteria to filter men out. I have met women that I would normally not spend effort trying to make time with, describe to me their silly criteria they used to reject guys. It's a shame because they could very easily be filtering out very good men. But when you've got 10 more lined up ready to meet you, this is what happens. Also, they become desensitized to the rejection process. So consequently, many can seem like "bitches" and what is supposed tone a fun meet up can seem like a job interview. Fortunately, I have not had any major negative experiences (your own frame of mind can help a lot here), but when they tell me about their other meet ups and how they turned away other guys (and how badly guys react, ranging from getting angry to begging for another chance), I can only shake my head.

Bottom line is this. Perhaps you can find someone to enjoy for some time on AM--there are real women there. But there are very few real women, and a LOT of noise. Make your best impression online and keep in mind who's really there (real ordinary women from real marriages). Love them for who they are, not for your sex fantasy. Do not take anything personally. Many women are passing up real gems (possibly you) because they have to deal with volume and they don't know how to handle that kind of attention. And many are fooling themselves, playing within their own fantasy (like shopping for clothes). Consider your money spent on AM as an adventure. A good night at the bar with my friends is going to cost me $80. If you can't afford $50 for a month of activity, how are you gong to afford an affair?

Good luck guys!

What you have to realize is that AM is free for Women. Everything they do is free, everything you do costs money. The ratio's of men to women are much worse than you think. I am a single guy living in a large city, and wanted to figure this site out. I set up a fake profile as a woman. Within 5 minutes I already had 10 messages, with guys telling me I sound great, that they really want to get to know me. I had not posted a pic, nor any information, no tag line, just checked some boxes. I added a tag line, and put a short joke in my want section, and the next day I had 100 emails, 100+ winks, guys are giving me gifts, and many did not uncheck the priority mail. So realize that any woman on here is getting a lot of attention and the guys are wasting a lot of money. I took a pic from the internet of a very plain women from a foreign website, and put it in the profile, now a week later I have 1000+ emails, winks, gifts. Its just unreal. The different approaches are interesting, but its too much. They are so many guys local wanting to cheat that I any woman on here has to be overwhelmed or ready to make her choice of what floats her boat. Not sure why a pretty girl would be on here, but for those that are not models, this website is gold if they are looking sex. AM also works completely different for the women. It is so much easier and simpler, faster, except for the photo, they took much longer to accept it, than they did for me as a guy.

If you get emails from not in your area, and they are young and beautiful, do not respond, these are paid hacks.