why get marred? whats the point with people like am users around! you all make me sick!

This site seems to be a complete farse. I have been on typical singles sites, and I get dozens of responses every week. On the other hand, on Ahsley Madison I never get any responses, even after sending 100+ winks and emails.

I like the idea of having a married GF so I don’t have to put up with all the daily BS, but this site is a complete waste… you;re better off at the mall.

I am a woman. And I went to Ashley Madison in response to their banner ad "When Divorce is Not an Option" that caught my eye. It is true that the ratio of men to women on Ashley Madison is not balanced. However, I received a message, corresponded, met and have formed a great relationship with a fabulous man. We are both married, to other people, and do not wish to change our status in any way. Our relationship is an addition to our established lives. Not a substitute or fantasy. We are friends, lovers, and simply enjoy each other's company. So, there might be many people on Ashley Madison who are not what they claim to be. But there are some who are real and just looking for something that they do not have. So, like with anything in life, be aware of your instincts. If something seems too good to be true, it usually is. In my case, I found it. I was lucky. Good luck to you.

After reading all 14 pages and just being suckered in myself, here are a few things I noticed:

As stated before, there are plenty of female accounts "online" all the time. Given the nature of the website, I find this highly unlikely.


After readying all the posts here, I see a theme for younger women (20's) contacting older men (50's) If I was AM, the men in their 50's, from a disposable income aspect and aging marriage, would be my target male demographic. Coincidence? I'm skeptical.

Has anyone else noticed that of the female profiles with pictures, there is an odd similarity to the way the "marker scribble" covers parts of thier face? I also noticed the same shade of pink used quite a bit.

...awful lot of new female profiles popped up in my 20 mile radius after I joined but before I paid.

And I'm sorry, what exactly does AM stand to lose with their $250 guarantee? You hook up or they give you back the money...big deal for them. And isn't that in some way a form of prostitution where the pimp keeps all the money?


I certainly don't doubt a few people have had success, but I would bet my 401k its a REAL small piece of the pie chart when compared to crafted, fake female profiles and AM's "bag of tricks."

Like most things in Life, nothing is black and white...but generally various shades of grey. So it is with AM. The way I see it, AM is definitely not an open, honest site, and (equally) AM is not at the far right of the spectrum of complete SCAMS. But it is a SCAM. The site does have some value and you can get laid if you wish if you understand the some basic stuff, make the most of the best features and avoid the pitfalls. Let me say from outset that I am an average middle aged guy who has managed to have a lot of sex and dates since I divorced 4 years ago on various dating site - I'm single. I agree with most of what has been written here. I joined AM a week ago and paid $20 yesterday to buy some credits and play the game. I had sex on my first day of this site...it wasn't that great. I was horny ...what do you do? Lol. I'm an Aussie and I have no affiliation with anything to do with any dating sites. I don't screw other guy’s wives generally, but I did once and felt guilty. I don't want to open that door again - even though there were no complications that I knew of. I joined this site purely as a dating site and to find the single women that exist there- not to chase married women. Many other married women (and men) on other sites say they are single on their profiles. How do you know either way - you don't. So I don't get flustered about AM being for flings with married people. Here are some observations about AM from my week or so of studying and using this site:

CONS: Like other sites (Be Naughty etc), AM is loaded with professional photos of 20 something year olds. These profile are fake and UNTIL you get your head around the lay of the land about how AM operates, that can be very frustrating - it messes with your mind when all these apparently real hotties are online but none respond. When the penny drops that these profiles are fake and just "window dressing" you soon realise ...hey....it’s just a form of advertising. It’s not that different to the glamorous, shiny, colourful wrapping of a "not so great ice-cream" or a fancy label on a bad bottle of wine (for e.g.). Yes I agree that a fake profile is a fake profile is a fake profile.....it’s a lie...true....but this is a freakin dating site and that is the lay of the land. Even on the best dating site, the women can lie about every facet of their life. And yes there is a difference between the SITE lying and the women lying. At least the SITE doesn't want take all of your assets. lol. Fake profiles are an enticement to get the guys in the mood to open their wallets....that's the end game. If you haven't got your head around the fact that AM is trying every which way to fleece you of money like all paid dating sites...then maybe you should cool off and maybe you shouldn't be there.

Other sites can be free (Plenty of Fish, Oasis etc) and you are more likely to score by taking your time with a suitable match (appropriate for your age ....all you middle aged guys) and not some hot babe that is either unobtainable or simply is not real. The openly dirty girls can be very disappointing - in a accordance with the very nature that put them on the site in the first place. The idea that the "loose" girls or the "fun" girls or the "horny girls" are all on sites like this is soooooo misplaced. Other sites that have more "conventional" women still lead to a great lay. Usually better. Good girls and bad girls are also on the other sites...the women who are “angels in the kitchen and sluts in the bedroom” just don't want to be labelled "bad girls". So if it's sex that you're after, dump the idea from your brain that you have to be on a site like AM. Getting a hot date purely depends on the effort you put...on any site. But all roads lead to sex...if you want it. So don't get too focused on the window dressing and the fake profiles...turn your Radars onto max gain, use your head and work out which profiles are real....and pursue them.

Finally, the AM site is guilty of misleading labelling on the various BUTTONS and various options within the website on your profile as well as misleading definitions in the HELP menu as follows:
CONS
1. It states in the HELP menu that automatic billing does not occur....and it doesn't in the sense that they don't automatically deduct a monthly subscription. BUT as I have shown above, once they have your credit card details, they automatically bill you by shoving an annoying pop up window in your face that says nothing about further payments YET automatically bills your credit card if you dare to remove the window from your face by pressing CONTINUE to get on with your session. What an outrageous rort. It does not say, continue with a credit card payment or continue to buy an amount of credits...nothing. Just "CONTINUE". Incredible.

2. AM claims that there is NO COST in contacting a girl that you have already paid contact for. BUT very sneakily, they fill the inward mail of all new male members with "COLLECT MAIL MESSAGES" from stunning babes. After you open a couple of these, you realise that your credits are reducing and that it is costing you 5 credits (or about $3 on average) to open a message from a fake profile that says "Hi" ....that's it. Just Hi. They don't even give an email or an intelligent sentence or anything that leads to further contact. You pay and get nothing but a sense that you have just been had! These emails are obviously initiated by the administrators of the site and serve as baits for uninformed new members to lure them into using up their credits. The whole practice is very distasteful and underhanded. THEN, it costs you another 5 credits to SEND THEM an email – but you have already made contact and paid for it. So this is at best a misleading practice - it’s a scam.

3. For a while I couldn't work out why ALL of my messages were costing me money - even the ones to members I have contacted. They are very sneaky. They make all the mail options preformatted to be PRIORITY MAIL - the ones that cost you money (5 credits) and put your message above others in the receivers IN box. The priority classification is denoted by a small purple flag in the top right of the email that you are about to send. So every time you press the MESSAGE ME button to write an email to someone, your email is setup to cost you money when it should be free. Down the Bottom are 2 large buttons: One just says SEND and it does just that. The one next to it labelled “FLAG message Priority Mail”. When you put your cursor over that button, an "explanation pop up” says that this button will cause you to SEND your message priority mail for 5 credits. So you think you have 2 SEND options – a free one and an expensive one. Therefore, as you don't want to pay 5 credits because you have already paid your 5 credits to make contact, you simply press the normal SEND button only to find that indeed you have been billed 5 credits, when you think you have avoided the costly option. Why - because although it looks like a SEND button that will cost you money, the PRIORITY button is an on/off button for the purple flag that you have to have to press to change the priority mail setting to turn off the cost on each and every email. There is nowhere in the HELP menu that assists new members in how to avoid making these continuing payments or just utilising the free mail via a normal, free CUSTOM email. It’s a scam...and cleverly designed with reverse psychology and complexity so as to extract your money. The button that you use most on the site is the SEND button – so AM cleverly tie your cash register to it.

4. So in summary, what does an initial contact with a girl cost you on AM???? Well if you're not careful, you will pay 5 credits to receive a message from a fake profile of a deliciously sexy and "way too young" babe. Then you will want to write to her and so pay 5 more credits to initiate contact with someone who you have already initiated contact with, and then you will pay 5 credits for the next email because they preformat all mail as PRIORITY to extract more money and the next email and the next and so on.....until a light bulb goes on in your head...or perhaps you never work it out. IT MAY COST YOU A FORTUNE. I spoke to someone who had no idea that she had been sending all of her emails PRIORITY, so I guess the girls are equally ripped off. Overall, the site is sneaky, misleading and in some instances blatantly breaking the LAW.

5. If you want to save some money on AM, don't turn off the option that allows you to receive COLLECT MAIL under the Manage Profile BUTTON. Leave it on to receive all mail. Then if you think it is from a fake profile because ....well...the photo is just way to good and too professional and she's so freakin young that it just doesn't add up (DER) then just delete it that message – don’t open it. If you think you have a chance, simply note the girl's profile name, also delete the message and save 5 credits. Then just email her for the usual 5 credits and ask what her initial message was. I bet is was nothing....like...”hi”. No skin off her nose and you've saved 5 credits. Then on each email after wards to that girl, make sure you turn off the PRIORITY MAIL scam thingy. The most you pay is 5 credits for a contact. I can live with that.

PROS

Well as long as you have read the above posts and you keep a level head and don't get lost in the ridiculous thought that some outrageously young babe really wants you when there is actually no hope in hell that will happen, you can then get on with finding the REAL profiles and you will find some lovely people out there. They may only be a small percentage of the total number of profiles, but they are there. And they play around if that’s what you want. I personally will be chasing AM through the CREDIT CARD FRAUD avenues. As you can gather, I don’t give easily on things and they picked on the wrong guy. I quite enjoy taking corporations to the CREDIT CARD police and other avenues like the Ombudsmen and getting my money back. I have a 100% record with banks, phone companies etc. Look...if I don’t win I don’t really care but I like to let the fraudsters know that some people will not take their disgusting code of conduct lying down. It’s good to bring the bad guys under the spot light of the Regulators and watch them squirm. Otherwise all of this whingeing on sites like this forum is just hot air and the bad guys are laughing at us.

Keep it real and good luck Gentlemen.

As an anecdote to my previous posts, I received 2 emails from the AM administrators regarding my complaints to the site about:

1. the misleading use of the PRIORITY Mail function and
2. the automatic debiting of my credit card via the default option on the MANAGE PROFILE - PROFILE OPTIONS page with the CONTINUE popup when the credits expired.

I was given bonus credits and everything was refunded.

In hindsight, I could have researched the sub options of the site more carefully before using it and I could have been more careful with my selections. BUT overall I was acting as an average customer with average computer knowledge. Therefore, I think my results would be fairly typical and I would hate to think that so many people are subjected to this sort o nonsense. In fact ,reading the previous posts, In think I came off far better than most - I got my money back. But what a waste of time and effort.

Overall, the system is setup to take your money through clever site design and via scamming tactics. Yes you can still get laid, but many other sites don't have the same miserable codes of practice that this site utilises. With other sites, your battle is purely with the women - on AM your battle is with the site administrators. On other sites you pay a subscription (like Sugardaddie or Benaughty) and then you just get on with it. Money is the last thing you think about after your initial sign up fee. With AM there is a horrible feeling that you are being continually scammed by some dirtbag watching your every move when you're logged on. Its a sordid business.

So I would recommend that unless you are willing to do your homework (which starts by reading all the previous posts on this review) avoid AM and go to a more conventional site. Girls just want someone to understand them - get that KEY and truly invest in knowing them and you have all the sex you want. Think twice about having sex with a married girl - make sure you can live with that. And I'm no freakin angel.

Cheers