Online Dating & Relationships Forums

WHO PAYS FOR DATES?


Brian - SpecialSome1.com

Anonymous
Ususally if the male pays for the date I would see that as being more of a date. If the cost of the date is shared that is more of 2 friends just spending some time together.

John

Anonymous
curious
I think that a man should pay for most dates, but not all, If a woman wants to be treated as a true equal and not an object than I think she needs to contribute on some level maybe 1 out of five dates or maybe cook a nice dinner once in a while. In my younger years I did the I will wine and dine you thing and to many women were looking for a free night on the town. Today women want to be respected as equals however they pick and choose where that line is drawn.
I have no problem picking up the check in most cases but if a women is not willing to step up and pick up a check once in a while then she will be gone as this is just an advanced warning of what a long term relationship will be like,

stargazer1234

Anonymous
assuming both guy and girl have work? hmm they have to talk about that. What if they both already knows about their work then they can talk about the venues and expense of their dates both them are willing to pay for their dates. But mostly the guy seeking a date for women, the guy is the one to pay for their dates (If rich).

bill

Anonymous
I just love women who say those who ask should pay then admit they have NEVER asked.pathetic gold diggers.Oh well,one more person to avoid.Considering the high cost of living these days men should go on strike for awhile and make women find out how much entertainment costs today.

happy idiot

Anonymous
curious
i have the opposite opinion. the bill should be split in the first few dates because neither party knows what the "return on investment
" wil be. why should i pay just because this person accepted my offer of going on a date? that's pretty high risk if you ask me! what happens if things get off on the wrong foot...am i supposed to pay for crappy conversation and to watch the person shovel food in their face and partake in some activity on my dime? hell no! A sign of maturity and proof that someone will put effort into a relationship is if they split it 50-50.

there is a 1/20 of a chance that women ask men out. th reason is that many men are asking them out so they don't need to, or they are too shy to do it themselves. That leaves us guys with the burden of paying and dealing with empty pockets!

once the couple is dating awhile, one or the other will pay for the bill. hopefully that works out fairly as well......

HappyLady

Anonymous
Quote by: We did go to a few expensive restaurants before that in which I paid for everything. I guess gold-diggers come in all shapes and sizes....


I can't believe that you asked a lady to pay>> O my God, where all men go?

emmanuel dodoo

Anonymous
loved
Quote by: TinaRochesterNY

I'm not sure what has happened to males of this generation. Here is something to think of : Chivalry is not dead. Dutch is for losers and the unemployed. If you fall into one of these two categories you are not disqualified but you should be honest and admit it. If you are not employed due to no fault of your own you will eventually land a position. If you highest ambition in life is to be a house husband admit it and be prouf of it.
The date iniator pays for the date. That means if you are a woman and you invite a man out you pay. If you are a man and you invite a woman out you pay.
That said in 34 years on this earth I have never asked a guy on a date. I truly believe in the mantra of the book of He's just not that into you. Trust me from experience if he truly is interested in you as a life partner he will not let you pay for a date. If he lets you pay for a date he likes you but not like he likes you as his forever partner/forever spouse/wife. If he lets you pay he likes you like a friend or like better than nothing.
Just My Honest Opinion Mr. Green

Cool

emmanuel dodoo

Anonymous
loved
Quote by: Mike in Cincy

Last summer I went out with a woman (39) that lived about 50 miles from me. I always drove up to get her and she never offered to pay for anything. I addressed this on the third date and stated that if I'm the one driving to see you then you should at least offer to pay half,(or even cook a dinner) if you come down to see me then I have absolutely no problem paying for everything. She worked in a hospital and made pretty good money. She said she was old-fashioned and believed that the man should pay for everything. The last time I saw her I drove up to her house, we got a couple of videos (which I bought) and asked her to go half on a pizza $6. That was the last time we went out. She emailed me and said "She didn't feel special if she had to pay for anything" How about the 100 mile round trip I took just to see her? That doesn't make her feel special? We did go to a few expensive restaurants before that in which I paid for everything. I guess gold-diggers come in all shapes and sizes....


Single guy in DC

Anonymous
IMO in the 21st Century there should not be the automatic expectation that the guy always pays. "Chivalry" is something based on archaic gender roles that most modern men and women want to move beyond (its roots are in the middle ages), and yes, it deserves to be "dead" as far as early stage dating goes. Dead dead dead. - There - I said it.

On the other hand, I think there is something to be said for the idea that if you split dinner instead of someone treating, it feels more like hanging out with a friend than being on a date. If I am on a first date with someone I like and I am confident she likes me too (and wants to see me again), I'll sometimes offer to pick up dinner, and let her know she is free to pick up dinner next time. That's my way of saying; "I like you and want to see you again but I'm looking for a relationship of equals". I'm establishing a pattern where we take turns treating each other.

If I like her but am less sure that she's interested, I'll generally not suggest I pay - especially if she goes straight for her own wallet. Women have jobs, they want sexual equality, there's just no reason for them to look to men for their financial security. If she has a problem paying for her share she isn't right for me anyway, if we end up on a few more dates I'll suggest we start taking turns treating each other.

Having said that, if I'm dating someone who is a student, is unemployed or whom I suspect makes much less money than me (and I'm not exactly rolling in it myself) I'll pay most of the time - not because I'm the guy, but just because I have more disposable income.

Now, I probably don't get as many second dates as I might if I did the whole gentleman spiel, but the women who want to see me again are the kinds of people who aren't going to expect me to pay for everything for them.

I'm happy to turn off my cell phone, be good company, and generally do what I can to make sure my date has fun. I'll call back when I say I will, I'll be respectful, and if we get to the point where we are physically intimate, I'll do my best to make sure she has at least as much fun as I do. I'll certainly be happy to cook for her.

But I feel strongly that this business of guys being expect to pay for everything for the first few months is really something we have to move past now.

Status: offline

darkangel8

Forum User
Newbie
Registered: 2010/04/11
Posts: 1
blah
Anyone here who pays? Ah I don't think its healthy for a future relationships if you pay for your day or else you wanted it for fun,,

All times are EDT. The time is now 09:05 am.

  • Normal Topic
  • Sticky Topic
  • Locked Topic
  • New Post
  • Sticky Topic W/ New Post
  • Locked Topic W/ New Post
  •  View Anonymous Posts
  •  Able to post
  •  HTML Allowed
  •  Censored Content