Forum Subject: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/07/17 09:12pm
By: Anonymous (Trent)

She cheated on me 12 years ago and i caught her. said she wouldn’t do it again and she loved me. Lots of tears. Things were rough but then seemed ok. Not the best marriage but it was ok. Three kids later life seems hectic. on a schedule with work and kids. No romance but that’s life. I work hard to provide.

Fast forward to now. She has been cheating on me since then for years and No odd calls or texts tipped me off . Little hints tipped me off. suddenly obsessed with losing weight and looking good. Fancy haircuts and appointments and new clothes. None of it was for me. claimed to be innocent over and over and over and she loved me. She lead another life in chat rooms with coworkers and random men. Met with guys after work. Sometimes when I was traveling for work. Had sex with men in our bed at home when she was off work during the week. The same bed that i sleep in. Her best friend watched the kids so she could run an “errand” without them. I’m not sure if the friend knew or was blind. Sometimes she asked my mom or her mom to watch them to run to a doctor appointment. No one can argue that. She was just going to the doctors. F$ck no.

Things seemed off with us. knew she didn’t really love me the way she acted. felt the same way i did 12 years ago. We got in a fight over stupid sH!t and the truth came poring out. She was sleeping around. I yelled at her and demanded the truth. She said I don’t need details. I’m not sure I want to hear them anyway. She said I never loved her so why should I care. What the f$ck.

Now she’s standing her ground?? doesn’t want a divorce?? Let fix this?? She sees my paycheck and our house and doesn’t want to lose the financial security. She could give a sh!t about me. Claims she wants to be with me and wants attention from me not other men. How the hell can I give her attention when I can’t even look at her???? She uses the kids as pawns and says we should stay together for them.

she will never change. She will always be the same cheater. She loves the attention. can’t love her again. I see her and I’m furious at her for ruining my life.

kids need me. I know this. Looking to future and who would ever want me with three kids and a crazy ex (?)???!

Drowning in life. Advice please~ Anything.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/07/18 01:07pm
By: Anonymous (Dolphin2)

I’m very sorry this happened to you. You deserve better out of a spouse.

I don’t have specific advice but wanted to let you know I read your post and I really felt your pain.

I hope you can heal.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/07/18 08:02pm
By: Anonymous (JennyFromTheBlock89)

I agree with the above poster. I am sorry that this happened to u. It happens to a lot of good people so u aren't alone in the world. stay strong.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/07/20 03:53pm
By: Anonymous (FtWayne)

I know you have kids but still. She sounds awful. Respect yourself.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/07/20 07:42pm
By: Anonymous (Shanlynnae)

You deserve love.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/07/29 06:02pm
By: Anonymous (Mar34)

Take a breath. Your story is horrible but you will be ok. You don't need her and her drama. You don't need to be disrespected any longer. No one should ever have someone else sleeping with their wife in their bed. That is gross and disgusting and I hope you are sleeping somewhere else far away from her and especially that bed until you make a decision. She doesn't get what she wants now. She doesn't get to decide to keep you and be satisfied with you now. You weren't good enough for her before and she strayed. She only wants you now because she was caught. If she loved you she wouldn't have done this with multiple guys. That's making a poor decision over and over and over again.

She's standing her ground and doesn't want a divorce? When she chose to sleep with other guys in your bed, she gave up her choices. She should be happy you didn't throw her out of the house, take the kids, and never speak with her again. I'm sorry to say this but you can never trust her again. A person can't sleep around on you, then suddenly become a loving partner and wife. They did it once, and they will do it again and again. Can you imagine looking her in the eyes and ever seeing love again? You'll look in her eyes and see the lies and the cheating. You'll think of her poor decisions and how she had no consideration of you or your marriage. You'll always wonder if she is telling the truth, or if she is just playing you.

Keep the kids happy and support them in every way you can. Time to tell your wife that made her decision when she f*ucked other people behind your back.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/07/31 07:40pm
By: Anonymous (Trent)

Thanks for the support. Current status is that I refuse to take her back knowing about her cheating past. Ironically she tested positive for an STD since my post! She didn’t tell me but I found the medication in the bathroom. I have even more proof of her actions, and know that she was having sex with someone in the last 3 months. She is sleeping in our bed and I’m sleeping in our spare bedroom permanently. I refuse to sleep in the same room with her and especially where she was having sex. I’m evaluating the best options for me and my children.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/08/02 03:39pm
By: Anonymous (Dolphin2)

Take the power back. You’re strong. Good job!

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/08/02 06:55pm
By: Anonymous (MarkGT)

I always tell people to follow their heart. In this case your wife was following her vagina. Doesn’t sound like she loved these guys. She just wanted to F^ck around and make you into a fool.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/08/03 03:26pm
By: Anonymous (Benny)

Time to move on. Marriage isn’t for life when your wife is sleeping around.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/08/04 11:10pm
By: Anonymous (Anon99)

This story is a horrible read. This is no longer a marriage. You get this? It’s over and time to step away from her and the way she treated you. There is nothing good about the marriage at all.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/08/05 08:23pm
By: Anonymous (Trent)

Thank you to everyone who reached out privately as well. It’s good to know I have support out there. She is asking to try again and build our marriage back. I am staying firm that it is permanently broken. I am unable to feel any romantic feelings towards her or be intimate with her as a husband knowing she chose to go behind my back like she did. I can picture her in bed and it disgusts me. You can’t forgive those actions ever. I am also disgusted that she is “dirty” with an STD. god only knows what else is festering in her body after sex with these people. That door is closed between me and her. It’s about raising the kids and that is it. Still working on options.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/08/08 06:25pm
By: Anonymous (Curt79)

Stay strong my man. Don’t fall back in the trap.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/08/15 10:22am
By: Anonymous (Charles)

I read your posts. Your story is my story almost exactly except I have two kids. I’m on the other side, divorced, happy, and she isn’t my problem. Life is better all around.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/08/18 04:28pm
By: Anonymous (UofNC)

Please consider taking the UNC survey on divorce. I'll be posting the results of the survey after.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/08/19 09:26pm
By: Anonymous (KenJam)

I could ALMOST forgive her for having sex with one man. Maybe It was a mistake or she was misguided once.

Multiple men is pure lack of respect, and a slap in your face over and over again. Be done. Kids or no kids.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/08/29 03:20am
By: Anonymous (Rick)

I see a trend with cheating wives. Why do they have sex in the marital bed?

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/08/29 03:36am
By: Anonymous (Rick)

Another thing is that they use kids as a guilt trip to keep the husband around. Then they keep using them for the sake of the children. That’s sick.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/09/05 07:37am
By: Anonymous (Metalhead)

Dude there is no reason to put up with that *censored*. Live better and without her.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/09/11 07:21pm
By: Anonymous (AnonDater)

I just posted on another post about sleeping around when you are married. This is a case where she didn't tell you and you found out. Some people know about it beforehand but either way it is not going to ever be the same again you can forgive but you can never ever forget. if they can do it once, they can do it again. there is no remorse and it's a situation that will likey get worse over time.......

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/09/13 05:02pm
By: Anonymous (Liza)

Trent I am so very very sorry. I have had several friends go through similar situations and i can tell you that if she did this once, she will do it over and over again. It is hard to believe this because maybe you loved her once but I can assure you that once that door is opened she won't be able to be committed to only you again. Please move on and have the courage to do so and enjoy a life. Not all women are like this and you will find one that loves you and is totally devoted only to you.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2021/09/16 09:20pm
By: Anonymous (GinaP)

This is horrible.

Re: Caught her cheating again!!!!!!

Posted on: 2022/07/28 03:00am
By: josephmcfarland

Women's infidelity is always accepted in society harder than men's. It is generally accepted that a man is capable of cheating without getting emotionally involved in a relationship with a new partner, while a woman, according to public opinion, cheats first with her soul and heart, and only then with her body. The betrayal of a spouse becomes the basis for a breakup by a married couple almost always when it was discovered. But the trouble is not only that the family will fall apart - many men are so hurt by the wife's infidelity that they do not know how to live after their wife's betrayal. The advice of a psychologist will help to understand this difficult situation. The first thing to decide for yourself is whether you love your wife. All further decisions will depend on an honest answer to this question. Try to drop thoughts of possessiveness and hurt pride. It is clear that treason is perceived primarily as a personal insult. However, answer yourself frankly: do you love your spouse? If not, when did your feelings for her fade away? Probably, already from the answer to this question you can draw important conclusions for yourself.