The Singles Project: a Retrospective

TV Shows
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Bravo’s latest reality TV project veered away from the sensational (unlike VH1’s “Naked Dating” which garnered a lot of unwarranted attention). Instead, The Singles Project – dubbed as a “real-time docuseries” on dating - followed eight singles in their search for love, while viewers informed them of what they were doing right and wrong.

Participants had to be willing to be critiqued, so I give them a lot of credit for their courage in putting their love lives and themselves out there on public display. There seemed to be a common goal among them: they wanted to find love, and were more than willing to try something different, to see what they could change to make their dating lives better.

The Singles Project is definitely not the well-choreographed stuff of hit dating shows like The Bachelor. There were no roses, no eliminations, no over-the-top romantic gestures. It was more real-life dating than most of the shows out there.

In a recent interview, the stars of the show talked about their experiences, what they learned, and how dating in front of a camera changed how they viewed themselves and also how they date. Some found love, some walked away still single, but according to Bravo, they say they “consider their efforts to be successful rather than shameful.”


“I learned that I’m a pretty particular person and that I have a tendency to drive people away at times,” said Brian when Bravo asked what he’d gained from the experience. “But on top of that I’ve learned that it’s probably caused by my desire to not settle. My desire to find The One and my desire to find The One that I deem to be my equal and the person that I want to grow old with and love forever and be happy with.”

For Tabasum, the show taught him to open up. “The thing that I learned about myself the most is that I have become so much better at communicating and telling the person that I am dating exactly how I feel—and that was kind of a struggle for me before.”

The cast members who ended up together learned a few things about themselves too. Ericka, who ended up falling for cast mate Lee, admitted: “I learned that I’m a bigger control freak that I thought I was originally.” While it’s too early in their relationship to tell, her awareness of her controlling nature might help her have a different kind of relationship than the ones she’s experiences in the past.

The big takeaway is that we all have things to learn when it comes to relationships. We can all improve our communication. The key is to never stop trying, to never give up.