MyTransgenderDate Examines Daters’ Experiences of Coming Out

LGBTQ+ dating app MyTransgenderDate shared some interesting findings from surveying its users on their experiences of coming out, including that trans women were three times more likely to come out than trans-oriented men, and that they also come out at a younger age. The company surveyed trans women and trans-oriented men only for the study.

In honor of National Coming Out Day in October, the study was intended to gauge the experiences of transgender women and trans-oriented men, and how they might differ. Researchers also endeavored to understand what motivates people to come out despite the challenges, and what fears and losses they experience when they do.

Of the respondents, 84 percent of trans women said they were out compared to only 25 percent of trans-oriented men, who indicated they won’t or can’t come out. Most trans women who hadn’t come out yet said that they didn’t think their families or co-workers would understand, while others said they wouldn’t because of the country they lived in, usually where anti-trans sentiment is pervasive. 

Image: MyTransGender

The study pointed out that it is easier to hide your identity as a man who is attracted to trans women, which may contribute to the gap in responses. Many trans-oriented respondents defended their attraction to trans women by saying they consider themselves straight, and that they are “attracted to trans because they are women, different parts but still a woman.”

There was also a difference in who the respondents came out to, depending on whether they were trans women or trans-oriented men. Forty-one percent of trans women came out to their mothers first, whereas 27 percent said they came out first to their friends. However, 47 percent of trans-oriented men came out to their friends first, while 15 percent came out first to their mothers.

There was also a difference in the ages of trans women and trans-oriented men who had come out. Trans women tended to be younger when they went public, with 82 percent saying they came out before age thirty, and the majority of these before 18 years of age. For trans-oriented men, the majority said they came out later, with 75 percent between the ages of 19 and 39. My Transgender Date points out that this is likely because people start exploring their sexuality later than their gender. 

It’s no surprise that fears prevent people from coming out. About 26 percent of trans women said they lost a job or a job opportunity from coming out, and 27 percent said they lost family. Trans-oriented men have experienced negative consequences for coming out as well, with 18 percent saying they lost family and about 28 percent saying they lost friends. 

Interestingly, the fear of losing work opportunities, friends and family was much greater than the reality. For example, 45 percent said they were afraid to lose family if they came out, but only 24 percent did lose family. Thirty-one percent of respondents said they feared losing their jobs, but only 20 percent said they lost work opportunities because of coming out.

The company surveyed people in 136 different countries and in five different languages. About 64.5 percent of respondents identified as trans-oriented men and 35.5 percent as trans women.