Friends First

  • Wednesday, September 18 2013 @ 10:01 pm
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Chances are, when you sign up for a dating site, love is your primary focus, not friendship. However, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, there are many reasons to keep good old-fashioned friendship first and foremost in your mind.

First of all, regardless of whether you’ve had successful romantic relationships in the past, chances are you’ve had a few successful long-term friendships. The concept of making friends is something familiar to you, and thus less stressful. You have a solid idea of what you’re looking for when you’re looking for a friend, and you’re more likely to trust your gut instincts.

By primarily focusing on whatever you’d look for in a friend, you’re forcing yourself to read profiles more closely. Some tend to scan profiles and set aside only the most attractive prospects. While attraction is definitely still a factor, using a photo to form your first impression can potentially impair your judgment; for example, you might give a profile more deliberation than it deserves because the person is attractive. You won’t be able to close your eyes at the pictures entirely, but simply setting out with a different goal in mind might cause you to look at everything slightly differently.

Physical attraction, or more specifically, chemistry, is absolutely important in a romantic relationship, and one of the reasons meeting in person as soon as possible is encouraged. However, there are many factors in a successful relationship, and chemistry is just one of them. By searching for a “friend,” you’re searching for someone who has something going for them in addition to chemistry. In essence, you’re upping your chances of finding someone compatible because you’ve identified additional traits you admire or share.

Ultimately, the only way to predict physical compatibility is to meet in person. So why waste your time trying to predict it via online profiles? Perhaps you should use the time to identify potential friends, instead. The chances of finding someone with whom you’ll share a physical spark might be similar, but perhaps you’ll walk away with a few platonic friendships, as well.