First-Contact Traps
- Wednesday, October 02 2013 @ 07:03 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,212
In online dating, the profile is essentially the “first impression,” but what’s the point if no one sees it? Hence, the invention of the first-contact email. It serves as a pre-first impression; think of it as seeing someone from across a crowded room. Do you want to see a little eye contact and a smile that invites more, or some frantic waving that results in a fall off a bar stool? These are the images to keep in mind as you settle down to write a first-contact email.
In truth, writing such an email is much easier than most people think. It ought to be short - from around three sentences to a paragraph, say - and it shouldn’t be a generic copy and paste job. Since it’s so short, that doesn’t require much work; just a basic sentence or two that demonstrates you’ve actually read the profile (Like, “I see you like science fiction; what do you think of that remake that’s coming out?”) will already put you a cut above the rest.
Yet, many people lose their way when it comes to the first-contact email. Most commonly, they become self-centered when it comes time to write. Well, maybe that’s not surprising; the profile is mostly all about you, after all. But no one wants to open up an email with your life story; it’s like watching a TV show that’s all prologue and never actually advances the plot. An email is the beginning of a conversation, not a job application.
Plus, you might have already said all you need to in your profile. When you stray outside of that one-paragraph zone, chances are you’re going to start repeating information from your profile; once your potential match clicks over to actually read your profile, it’s going to sound redundant. Then you run the risk of appearing either self-absorbed or perhaps even dishonest (as in, you have your script and you’re sticking to it).
Thus, avoid all the hassle and potential miscommunication, and make it easy on yourself: stick to a short and sweet first-contact email. You might feel it’s formulaic - after all, it’s hard to reinvent the paragraph - but as long as you’re actually reading their profiles and asking a relevant question, you’re coming across as classic, not cliched. A non-offensive fist-contact email means they’ll check out your profile, and now the real conversation can begin. Why get in your own way?
In truth, writing such an email is much easier than most people think. It ought to be short - from around three sentences to a paragraph, say - and it shouldn’t be a generic copy and paste job. Since it’s so short, that doesn’t require much work; just a basic sentence or two that demonstrates you’ve actually read the profile (Like, “I see you like science fiction; what do you think of that remake that’s coming out?”) will already put you a cut above the rest.
Yet, many people lose their way when it comes to the first-contact email. Most commonly, they become self-centered when it comes time to write. Well, maybe that’s not surprising; the profile is mostly all about you, after all. But no one wants to open up an email with your life story; it’s like watching a TV show that’s all prologue and never actually advances the plot. An email is the beginning of a conversation, not a job application.
Plus, you might have already said all you need to in your profile. When you stray outside of that one-paragraph zone, chances are you’re going to start repeating information from your profile; once your potential match clicks over to actually read your profile, it’s going to sound redundant. Then you run the risk of appearing either self-absorbed or perhaps even dishonest (as in, you have your script and you’re sticking to it).
Thus, avoid all the hassle and potential miscommunication, and make it easy on yourself: stick to a short and sweet first-contact email. You might feel it’s formulaic - after all, it’s hard to reinvent the paragraph - but as long as you’re actually reading their profiles and asking a relevant question, you’re coming across as classic, not cliched. A non-offensive fist-contact email means they’ll check out your profile, and now the real conversation can begin. Why get in your own way?
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