Contributed by: kellyseal Saturday, December 24 2016 @ 10:10 am
Extroverts can often be misunderstood. They are charming, engaging people who are full of curiosity and you tend to seek out adventure. Extroverts are also energized by being around people, so parties and social gatherings are what they crave.
But when an extrovert is dating an introvert, there can be challenges. You might feel the need to be heard, or to talk about issues that bother you, while your dates might avoid confrontation and tend to retreat. Or you might fall in love over and over, but things don’t quite work out.
Extroverts are the life of the party, and are exciting to date, especially for introverts. It’s easy to take over making decisions, making plans, and guiding a relationship or conversation forward, but the extrovert needs to be careful, too. Relationships are a two-way street, so they require compromise.
Following are some tips for extroverts when dating:
Ask questions and hone your listening skills.
Extroverts are great flirts and conversationalists, which can make an introvert breathe a sigh of relief because the pressure is off. However, when an extrovert takes over the conversation, nobody has a good time, and both parties leave feeling a little resentful and frustrated. Instead, focus on learning about your date. Ask a few questions, and listen to the responses. Notice your date’s body language – it’s an important indication of how an introvert feels. Is he leaning in to you, or sitting back in his chair? This will help guide you forward.
Introverts need time to formulate their thoughts, so often, your talking cadences might be off. If your date takes longer to answer a question, it might feel frustrating, but it’s just a different communication style. If you’re curious about your date, this isn’t such a problem.
Respect each other’s rights and feelings (including your own).
Often, an extrovert can feel responsible for the introvert’s feelings while dating. If an introvert refuses to go to a party because they need time alone, it’s good to respect this. But the reverse is true: if you would like your date to come with you, you have the right to ask. Coming up with a good compromise as to how much you stay in or go out is a good conversation to have at the beginning of a relationship.
Ask your date to make a plan.
Introverts will sometimes let extroverts take the wheel when making decisions about where to eat or what to watch, because they want to avoid confrontation. However, don’t fall into this habit. Instead, take turns making decisions, even if you don’t agree. You’ll both be happier in the long run if it’s an equal partnership.