A Scary Step That Every Man Must Take For Love

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Flashback: remember that classic movie moment when Indiana Jones arrives at the cliff in his search for the Holy Grail? To complete his quest, Indy has to step off, blindly and unquestioningly.

Clearly, stepping off that nice, safe ledge doesn’t seem to be in his best interest (though it may be in ours... did you see “Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull”? Not good.)

Indy is facing a challenge that requires him to go against every instinct for his immediate safety and well-being… that he take a literal “leap of faith” to achieve his goal. And, when it comes to overcoming the biggest obstacle facing most men on the quest for love, same thing goes...

That obstacle is the idea of SACRIFICE.

As guys, we hear it all the time... everything we’ll need to give up to commit to a woman, let alone how much MORE we’ll have to sacrifice to get married and start a family.

No wonder so many guys go off the rails when it comes to all this. We step up to that ledge... take one look down over the edge… and immediately run as fast as we can in the other direction.

The Ways We “Retreat” From Love... And Why

Whether we’re conscious of it or not, our “retreat” from committed love shows up in our lives in a lot of not-so-good ways.

We suffer through one miserable, dysfunctional relationship after another. We constantly sabotage or flake on good relationships. Maybe we never master the skills to meet a great woman in the first place.

No matter how it shows up, our fear of sacrifice wreaks havoc. All because, on a very instinctual level, we don’t want to risk what we THINK we already have for a chance at something better.

In fact, cognitive studies suggest we’re programmed to avoid loss (and its short-term pain) by a factor of almost 2 to 1 over taking a risk for success. Much like stepping off that cliff, the choice to enter into a committed relationship goes against our “hard-wired” drives and emotional tendencies...

… so how does committed love stand a chance?

We Must Make A Conscious Choice As A Confident, Mature Man

When considering entering into a relationship, it’s natural to to feel like we’re going to lose some really great stuff from our life. Freedom. Individual choice. Independence. Round-the-clock ESPN.

That’s why, unless we’ve done the work to fully mature as a man, learning to deal with our emotions and communicate them in the right ways, it’s also sure to create feelings of deprivation and resentment in us.

But it’s also the “Holy Grail” of succeeding on our relationship quest...

Just like Indy, FIRST we need to feel completely confident and secure in ourselves. We must learn our triggers, how to process negative emotions, and how to connect with a partner so we can work through all of this together.

THEN we have to take that leap of faith... consciously choosing to give up what SEEMS like the irreplaceable benefits of being single for the far greater rewards of a relationship… rewards that exist on a whole other level we can’t fully imagine until they “emerge” and we experience them.

And so the challenge remains…

If we can’t even imagine the fulfillment of an intimate partnership... if we can’t yet fathom the joy of creating a family... if we can’t value simple benefits like just plain living better and longer (did you know single people die earlier?) why would we dare to take this scary, illogical step?

Here’s what I can tell you…

I used to teach men how to meet amazing women and get lots of dates, period. But, once I did the legwork to mature as a man and partner myself, I wanted more out of life. I needed it. So I knew it was time to take the leap.

And yes... it was a scary step.

But it transformed my life in such mind-blowing ways, from how I felt about myself to how I viewed life, love and my partner, that I hope you’ll explore this totally illogical, thrilling, life-changing leap, too.