YourTango Online Dating Bootcamp: Day Eight

Day Eight of YourTango's online dating bootcamp tackles one of the most prescient questions for daters in the modern era: when is it appropriate to friend someone you met online? Social networking has taken over cyberspace, so sooner or later you're bound to be faced with the dilemma. To friend or not to friend? That is the question.

Dating coach Annie Gleason has the answer. "I think that you should wait quite a long time," she says. "Definitely don't friend somebody who you just met online."

Everyone you meet on a dating site is trying to put their best foot forward, so it's only natural that your first impression will be a good one. The initial emails are when all the best jokes are told, all the nicest compliments are offered, and all the most rapport-building sentiments are shared, but you won't know who that person really is until you take the interaction offline.

Gleason agrees: "You have no idea who this person really is," she says, "even if he's sending you incredibly romantic emails. Wait until you've met them in person." For the ladies, she offers this advice: "Wait until the man asks you to friend him, and then make your decision." If you're really anxious about friending a new paramour - regardless of your gender - err on the side of caution and wait until your new sweetheart raises the subject.

"I really recommend that you wait a long time," Gleason continues, "maybe six months, because most dating relationships end after one date, or three dates, or three months, or six months."

If you make it to the six month mark as a couple, chances are good that you're going to continue seeing each other. Prior to that, you risk having to go through dreaded status change - from "single," to "in a relationship," to "it's complicated," to "single" - and no one wants all their dirty relationship laundry aired in public. Feel free to friend once the relationship has reached a point of greater stability.

Before updating your Facebook relationship status, discuss the change with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Change your status to "in a relationship" too soon and you risk coming off as clingy, but change it too late and your new love may doubt the seriousness of your intentions. The safest way to avoid a Facebook crisis is to make sure you're both on the same page before announcing your new relationship to the world.

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