Are Your Expectations Hurting Your Love Life?

If you're single, you probably have an idea in your head of the type of person you want to date. Maybe he's tall, or owns his own business, or enjoys biking and the outdoors, or likes to travel.

Since you've joined an online dating site however, you seem to be getting matched up with all the wrong types - or at least, people who don't seem to have the same interests or background as you do. They don't meet your requirements. If you are career-focused and want a successful man, perhaps you are matched with men who don't have a college education or who hold blue-collar jobs. Or maybe you love to travel but the people you get matched with haven't been outside the U.S.

Sure, it might be frustrating. Maybe you have no faith in the matching process. But to totally ignore the matches who aren't your "type" is a mistake.

While no matching technology is perfect, they don't focus primarily on what someone looks like or what they do for a living. They use a combination of factors that might lead to compatibility. It brings you outside your comfort zone to try dating people who aren't necessarily your type. And that's a good thing.

Sometimes interests that people share can be vague or misleading. Maybe a "love of travel" to one person means going to Vegas a few times a year, while to another it means a hiking trek in Southeast Asia.

When it comes to love, there are no rules to ensure compatibility and success. Love and attraction are intangibles, and often found in the most unlikely subjects. What if you won't date any guy under six feet, but the person who you would find most attractive is actually five foot six? What if the smartest man you'd meet started his own business but never finished college?

This point hit home the other night while I was watching the movie Think Like a Man. One of the female characters refused to date anyone who wasn't as successful as she was (she was head of a large media company). But she met a man who was between jobs, trying to become a chef, and ended up putting her expectations aside for a chance at real love.

Having expectations for your relationship is important. After all, you want to be respected and treated well. But having expectations for the "type" of man you wish to fall in love with isn't helpful. So maybe it's time to drop those visions of the "perfect" man, and start with meeting your matches, even if they seem incompatible. Keep an open mind. Because you never know when love will strike.