Yes, You Want to Be Here

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Imagine you're at a coffee shop. You're enjoying your drink, maybe reading a book, and someone you find really attractive walks in. Even better, after they order, they sit near you, and strike up a conversation. You have common interests. Everything seems to be going swimmingly. And then, the object of your desire tosses off this line:

“Yeah, I know this coffee shop is normally for losers, but my friends have been telling me it's not as dismal as everyone thinks it is. I was just giving it a shot to see if there's actually any attractive people here.”

Yes, it does seem like a bizarre thing to say in a social situation, doesn't it. And no, it doesn't really say anything good about the tactless dope who said it. Why, then, do so many online profiles say nearly the same thing?

“I never thought I'd be on an online dating site, but...” “I can't believe I'm here, but...” Yes, we understand: you feel there's a stigma involved with online dating. When small children envision meeting their Future Partner, they probably don't yet envision a striking online profile – and when you were growing up, you couldn't have imagined such a thing.

Here's the thing, though: everyone else with a profile had the same thought process and arrived at the same site. Someone with their own profile will not judge you for having one. And how will you find someone with whom you want to share your heart, when you've perpetually got one foot out the door?

If you want online dating to work for you, you need to put your best face forward, same as in any first impression. Taking the “I can't believe I'm doing this” angle could make you seem arrogant, wishy-washy, or even self-loathing – not a good trait in the bunch. Confidence is a great asset; own your decision to put yourself out there.