Wrong Person, Right Time?
- Wednesday, March 10 2010 @ 08:14 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 3,735
In dating, it's not uncommon to hear the phrase, “right person, wrong time.” Maybe there was some amazing chemistry, but one or both parties weren't ready to settle down just yet. There's a flip side to this situation - “wrong person, trying to force the right time.” We don't hear about it as much, because it's less fraught with drama and more insidious and difficult to detect.
Imagine two couples, each on their first date. Both first dates go almost exactly the same – they're... nice. The people involved are reasonably attractive, though they're not exactly having an instant attraction with their dates. But there's nothing wrong with anyone involved – and they're all on the same page with regard to their life goals – everyone's ready to settle down. At the end of the night, both couples agree to a second date.
Couple Number One find, on their second date, that they share a love for collecting vinyl records, and the conversation was interesting enough that they called each other when they got home to finish it. They might not have swooned when they first met each other, but over time they found their date increasingly attractive. Their first date was essentially two strangers meeting; however, they quickly became friends, and soon developed into much more.
Couple Number Two had a nice time on their first date, and a nice time on their second date. They weren't incredibly attracted to each other, but there wasn't anyone more attractive that they could find on the dating site. And, while they may not have much in common, there definitely didn't seem to be anything wrong with either of them. Plus, they both wanted to get married and have children relatively soon, and it's hard to find people with the same goals... isn't it? So they went on another date, and another. All were nice.
Through contrasting these couples, it's easy to tell which developed a connection and which didn't, but it can be a bit tricky when you're trying to decide if you're Couple Number Two. Since dating usually does involve meeting a stranger, no one should expect instant fireworks every time. Still, it's not a bad idea to occasionally ask yourself: how many dates have you had? Do you like this person much more than you did on the first meeting? And finally, while comfort is definitely an asset in a healthy relationship, is comfort all you've ever felt? It can be difficult to break out of one of these relationships, but in the long run, being with the wrong person is far worse than being single.
Imagine two couples, each on their first date. Both first dates go almost exactly the same – they're... nice. The people involved are reasonably attractive, though they're not exactly having an instant attraction with their dates. But there's nothing wrong with anyone involved – and they're all on the same page with regard to their life goals – everyone's ready to settle down. At the end of the night, both couples agree to a second date.
Couple Number One find, on their second date, that they share a love for collecting vinyl records, and the conversation was interesting enough that they called each other when they got home to finish it. They might not have swooned when they first met each other, but over time they found their date increasingly attractive. Their first date was essentially two strangers meeting; however, they quickly became friends, and soon developed into much more.
Couple Number Two had a nice time on their first date, and a nice time on their second date. They weren't incredibly attracted to each other, but there wasn't anyone more attractive that they could find on the dating site. And, while they may not have much in common, there definitely didn't seem to be anything wrong with either of them. Plus, they both wanted to get married and have children relatively soon, and it's hard to find people with the same goals... isn't it? So they went on another date, and another. All were nice.
Through contrasting these couples, it's easy to tell which developed a connection and which didn't, but it can be a bit tricky when you're trying to decide if you're Couple Number Two. Since dating usually does involve meeting a stranger, no one should expect instant fireworks every time. Still, it's not a bad idea to occasionally ask yourself: how many dates have you had? Do you like this person much more than you did on the first meeting? And finally, while comfort is definitely an asset in a healthy relationship, is comfort all you've ever felt? It can be difficult to break out of one of these relationships, but in the long run, being with the wrong person is far worse than being single.
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