Why Taking Risks will Help Your Love Life

A few years ago, when I was completely over my love life (or lack thereof), I decided to do something different - something outside my comfort zone. I bought a ticket to New Zealand. One ticket, just for me.

Now, I've always loved traveling, but I'd never traveled alone - always with friends or a boyfriend, and never to a remote place halfway across the world. The thought of it terrified me, but it also was exciting.

My friends were confused when I told them. "Why didn't you ask me? I'd go with you," they said. But I didn't want anyone to come along. I wanted to do this for me, because I wanted to prove to myself that I could face my fears and step outside my comfort zone. I wanted a new perspective. I wanted to change.

I hiked beautiful mountains, rode in a helicopter above the breathtaking landscape of Milford Sound despite the terrible winds, and took my chances paragliding with a 20-year old stoned guide. I was not letting anything deter me. I was determined to try whatever scared me the most.

I did come back with a new perspective, which has guided me now through my relationships. Something had emerged in me - instead of avoiding places or events or even people who made me uncomfortable, I would put one foot in front of the other and make myself go. And about 95% of the time, if not more, it really paid off. I learned that I was stronger, more capable, and more courageous than I thought.

There's something to be said for taking risks. Going outside of your comfort zone helps to shift your perspective, to let you see things in a different way. Sure, it's scary to think of going to that party all by yourself where you don't know the crowd, but honestly, isn't it also easier to meet new people that way? Or maybe approaching that guy who's on your 7:00am train every day looks a little more possible.

Taking risks helps you see what is possible, and helps you to let go of thinking that keeps you doing the same things in the same way, expecting different results. Taking risks keeps you honest.

So, here's a challenge. Try something new this week that scares you. It can be something large (like booking a solo trip) or relatively small (like making yourself talk to someone in line at the coffee shop tomorrow morning). Taking these small risks on a regular basis will help you gain confidence, open more doors, and allow you to bring more opportunities into your life.

What's the harm in that?