Where Dreams Take Shape
- Monday, July 08 2013 @ 07:02 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,171
When considering online dating, it’s likely you’ll hear more than a few misconceptions and cynical statements. Here’s one that might pop up: “Online dating? Ugh, I’m not that desperate.”
It’s true that online dating sites aren’t necessarily the first place the kids go to find their first true love (though who knows if that will be the case in the future). However, for many the online dating scene is far from desperate. In fact, some might consider it the smarter way to date.
Imagine yourself as a teen, before your first relationship, when romance was a dim possibility in the future. If pressed, you might have had some vague notion of a “dream match” - probably attractive, funny, all the usual traits - but you didn’t really know what you wanted or needed. After all, you didn’t really know who you were, yet.
After you’d tested the waters - through dating or relationships, getting to know different types of people through school and work, heck, just existing yourself and growing into an adult - that vague picture has filled in a bit with details. Sure, you want to keep your options somewhat open because you never know who might shape your perception, but chances are by this point you’ve got a pretty good idea of at least who you don’t want.
Online dating sites are full of people like you. They might not have the wide-eyed optimism of first love, but they’re probably not as blindly driven by their hormones as they once were, either. If they’re looking for a long-term relationship, chances are they’ve got a slightly better idea of what makes one work. If they’re not the type for something long-term, they’ve figured that already.
Additionally, they’ve all filled out profiles, just like you. Though some obviously give this process more thought than others, the act of writing a profile is a little bit of soul-searching - you have to figure out who you are in order to learn how best to present yourself. By editing red flags in your writing, you’re revealing the ones in your thought processes. That extra bit of self-awareness can only be good.
So don’t think of online dating as a place of last resort. Instead, see it for what it is: a place for adults, for those who’ve colored in their dreams - and intend to find the realistic counterpart.
It’s true that online dating sites aren’t necessarily the first place the kids go to find their first true love (though who knows if that will be the case in the future). However, for many the online dating scene is far from desperate. In fact, some might consider it the smarter way to date.
Imagine yourself as a teen, before your first relationship, when romance was a dim possibility in the future. If pressed, you might have had some vague notion of a “dream match” - probably attractive, funny, all the usual traits - but you didn’t really know what you wanted or needed. After all, you didn’t really know who you were, yet.
After you’d tested the waters - through dating or relationships, getting to know different types of people through school and work, heck, just existing yourself and growing into an adult - that vague picture has filled in a bit with details. Sure, you want to keep your options somewhat open because you never know who might shape your perception, but chances are by this point you’ve got a pretty good idea of at least who you don’t want.
Online dating sites are full of people like you. They might not have the wide-eyed optimism of first love, but they’re probably not as blindly driven by their hormones as they once were, either. If they’re looking for a long-term relationship, chances are they’ve got a slightly better idea of what makes one work. If they’re not the type for something long-term, they’ve figured that already.
Additionally, they’ve all filled out profiles, just like you. Though some obviously give this process more thought than others, the act of writing a profile is a little bit of soul-searching - you have to figure out who you are in order to learn how best to present yourself. By editing red flags in your writing, you’re revealing the ones in your thought processes. That extra bit of self-awareness can only be good.
So don’t think of online dating as a place of last resort. Instead, see it for what it is: a place for adults, for those who’ve colored in their dreams - and intend to find the realistic counterpart.
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