When You Find Yourself, Remember to Update That Profile
- Wednesday, January 30 2013 @ 11:00 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 832
Many people find the need to tweak their online profiles after they’ve been out in the dating world for awhile. They’re not doing it just to keep things fresh or erase that reference to a TV series that’s since been cancelled; they’re actually changing content about who they are and what they want. Why? Have they actually changed in that short amount of time?
Not necessarily. However, some develop what might be called a “single persona” and a “couple persona.” It’s not done intentionally, and it’s not even necessarily negative. Here’s a fictional example:
Tim entered his last relationship when he was still in college, getting married shortly after he graduated. Now in his thirties, he’s divorced and newly single. He goes to write his profile - but it’s hard to identify where he had ended and his ex had began. Most of their interests were shared, and now he’s reminded of her, at least temporarily. Were they even his interests to begin with? He’s not sure. He defaults and begins to write about himself as he would have back the last time he was single - but that was back in college. He’s changed and grown since then - he’s just not sure into who.
After a few months, though, he’s got a slightly clearer picture. Not everything reminds him of his ex, and he’s beginning to realize that he misses birdwatching, even though it was something introduced by his ex. He’s beginning to sort out who he is, as an adult, not serving as the foil to someone else. Is it any wonder, then, that he feels the need to rewrite his online profile?
So if you happen across a profile after a few months and the tone has changed, don’t immediately jump to sinister conclusions - if they’re not literally a completely different person, it’s entirely possible they’re only just figuring out who they really are. And if you’ve been in the dating world for awhile, it couldn’t hurt to glance through your own profile. Do you think it still reflects who you are today?
Not necessarily. However, some develop what might be called a “single persona” and a “couple persona.” It’s not done intentionally, and it’s not even necessarily negative. Here’s a fictional example:
Tim entered his last relationship when he was still in college, getting married shortly after he graduated. Now in his thirties, he’s divorced and newly single. He goes to write his profile - but it’s hard to identify where he had ended and his ex had began. Most of their interests were shared, and now he’s reminded of her, at least temporarily. Were they even his interests to begin with? He’s not sure. He defaults and begins to write about himself as he would have back the last time he was single - but that was back in college. He’s changed and grown since then - he’s just not sure into who.
After a few months, though, he’s got a slightly clearer picture. Not everything reminds him of his ex, and he’s beginning to realize that he misses birdwatching, even though it was something introduced by his ex. He’s beginning to sort out who he is, as an adult, not serving as the foil to someone else. Is it any wonder, then, that he feels the need to rewrite his online profile?
So if you happen across a profile after a few months and the tone has changed, don’t immediately jump to sinister conclusions - if they’re not literally a completely different person, it’s entirely possible they’re only just figuring out who they really are. And if you’ve been in the dating world for awhile, it couldn’t hurt to glance through your own profile. Do you think it still reflects who you are today?
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