When Patience Isn't a Virtue

It’s tempting to want to start the next chapter of your life as quickly as possible, but if there’s one thing that doesn’t happen on a set schedule, it’s love. Sometimes love blossoms from friendship slowly, over a number of years, and others claim they felt it at first sight (or conversation, or date). You can’t make yourself find love, or expect to receive it, on a set schedule. Still, a line has to be drawn somewhere. When you’re waiting to find love, when does patience become unreasonable?

You may think you’ve found your match, but if they’re already attached - say, married - it’s best to continue your search elsewhere. Sure, people get divorced; relationships fall apart. Others never do, despite a seemingly negative situation. You can’t take “they don’t seem happy” as a guarantee that they’ll both leave their current partner, and turn to you when they do. Sometimes things have a fairytale way of working out, but by no means should you sit around and expect it to happen. Looking for someone available is the safest way to protect your heart, and the most logical chance for finding success.

While it’s true that love sometimes does blossom from years of friendship, that doesn’t mean you should wait around for it to happen. When people talk about falling in love after knowing each other for years, they usually mean a slow evolution wherein they go from barely knowing each other to becoming close, then falling in love. Rarely do you hear about a situation in which one person is in love from the beginning and patiently sits around for years. If it’s meant to happen, it will; in the meantime, keep looking for someone who wants love this decade.

Finally, there’s what I like to call the “Happily Ever After” person, but please don’t assume I’m only talking about women here; men fit this mold just as easily. This person is waiting for their fairy tale to begin, for their love to come swooping around the corner at the grocery store or the post office and carry them away to happiness. However, they don’t bother actually trying to meet anyone new; they expect love to just happen to them. Waiting for your new match to seek you out at home, knocking at your door, is impractical at best. Each new person you meet is a potential friend or a potential match; why not meet as many as possible?

Of course, Hollywood is full of exceptions to these rules, with dramatic storylines that encourage us to think that we could be an exception too. And maybe we are. Still, would you bet your chance at a happy, fulfilling relationship on those odds? You might win the lottery someday, but in the meantime, perhaps it’s best to pursue a living through more conventional methods. Money is still money, and love is still love.