When Not Everyone Is Thrilled
- Sunday, November 06 2011 @ 04:48 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,120
Let’s say you’ve met someone new, and things are going great. You can’t wait to introduce them to family and friends. One problem, though - the people you care about aren’t as thrilled with this new person as you are. What do you do when a “big, happy family” seems about as likely as Bigfoot knocking on your door selling cookies?
First, assess the number of people who have a problem. Is it just one friend? Is it a single unit, like a family who tends to share a hive mind? If it’s just one or two who have a problem, the next step is to determine if the problem is personal - as in, if it has more to do with you or them than your new match. Maybe a friend is dismayed that you’ve been spending less time with her. Maybe your brother is feeling low about his own love life.
The next step is to see whether more time spent together could rectify the situation. To cry “You don’t even know him!” is so high school - so be an adult and get everyone together. It doesn’t have to be an interrogation session on the couch; it could be a picnic, a trip to an amusement park - something where people can loosen up, be themselves, and be distracted. Even a board game could help break the tension.
But what if it’s not just a few people who have a problem, but everyone? What if spending time together doesn’t help? Now you have some tough decisions to make. First, you might want to consider that there’s some merit to your loved ones’ distrust of your new partner. It can be difficult, but it’s best for everyone if you ask yourself hard questions. And if you know, in your heart of hearts, that any distrust is plain wrong, well, you have to decide the direction your heart goes. Hopefully, if you can’t be one big happy family, you can at least be an amicable one.
It’s tough when the people you love don’t get along with your new love. With all those hormones coursing around and happy new feelings, it’s easy to feel crushed. But with some careful, open communication and some honest effort, perhaps you can find a solution that works for everyone.
First, assess the number of people who have a problem. Is it just one friend? Is it a single unit, like a family who tends to share a hive mind? If it’s just one or two who have a problem, the next step is to determine if the problem is personal - as in, if it has more to do with you or them than your new match. Maybe a friend is dismayed that you’ve been spending less time with her. Maybe your brother is feeling low about his own love life.
The next step is to see whether more time spent together could rectify the situation. To cry “You don’t even know him!” is so high school - so be an adult and get everyone together. It doesn’t have to be an interrogation session on the couch; it could be a picnic, a trip to an amusement park - something where people can loosen up, be themselves, and be distracted. Even a board game could help break the tension.
But what if it’s not just a few people who have a problem, but everyone? What if spending time together doesn’t help? Now you have some tough decisions to make. First, you might want to consider that there’s some merit to your loved ones’ distrust of your new partner. It can be difficult, but it’s best for everyone if you ask yourself hard questions. And if you know, in your heart of hearts, that any distrust is plain wrong, well, you have to decide the direction your heart goes. Hopefully, if you can’t be one big happy family, you can at least be an amicable one.
It’s tough when the people you love don’t get along with your new love. With all those hormones coursing around and happy new feelings, it’s easy to feel crushed. But with some careful, open communication and some honest effort, perhaps you can find a solution that works for everyone.
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