When Hello is Just Hello
- Sunday, July 17 2011 @ 07:23 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,624
In the world of online dating, the search for the double meaning comes early. From the very first response to a first-contact email, we’re scouring each line, each word, wondering what the writer “really” means. It’s not paranoia; it’s simply human nature. When importance is added to every interaction, “hello” doesn’t necessarily mean “hello” anymore.
Except... what if it does? We get so caught up in the convenience of online dating, the speed with which we can find potential matches, that we forget that we really should be spending the average length of time actually falling in love. Online dating is essentially a shortcut to meeting compatible people, but there’s no reason why any other aspect of the relationship should be shortened. And why would we want to? There’s a beauty in falling into romantic love, especially if it’s one of the last times you do. Why not revel in every minute?
But before you fall in love, you have to get to know each other. The boring parts, where you really do have to start by saying hello - and that’s all. So bear in mind, as you send your first-contact emails, that sometimes it’s best to view everything as simple and transparent. Don’t try to load your messages with secret double meanings, and don’t try to read anything into the ones you receive. Sometimes people really are just swamped with work. Sometimes they really do come down with a cold and need to reschedule a date.
Similarly, as you write your own correspondence, be as open and honest as possible. If you need to reschedule for a reason you’re afraid might sound silly, just come out with it instead of coming up with a more “reasonable” lie. If you can’t wait to reschedule, say so. Any information or reassurance that you’d like to have would undoubtedly be welcomed by your potential match. Besides, at a certain point it’s expected that people should stop “playing games” in a relationship; why not develop good habits early?
As you begin corresponding with a new potential match, try not to get sucked into the vortex of double meanings. Most of the time they’re not even there. You’re simply wasting energy that could be better spent - like getting to know your date, for instance.
Except... what if it does? We get so caught up in the convenience of online dating, the speed with which we can find potential matches, that we forget that we really should be spending the average length of time actually falling in love. Online dating is essentially a shortcut to meeting compatible people, but there’s no reason why any other aspect of the relationship should be shortened. And why would we want to? There’s a beauty in falling into romantic love, especially if it’s one of the last times you do. Why not revel in every minute?
But before you fall in love, you have to get to know each other. The boring parts, where you really do have to start by saying hello - and that’s all. So bear in mind, as you send your first-contact emails, that sometimes it’s best to view everything as simple and transparent. Don’t try to load your messages with secret double meanings, and don’t try to read anything into the ones you receive. Sometimes people really are just swamped with work. Sometimes they really do come down with a cold and need to reschedule a date.
Similarly, as you write your own correspondence, be as open and honest as possible. If you need to reschedule for a reason you’re afraid might sound silly, just come out with it instead of coming up with a more “reasonable” lie. If you can’t wait to reschedule, say so. Any information or reassurance that you’d like to have would undoubtedly be welcomed by your potential match. Besides, at a certain point it’s expected that people should stop “playing games” in a relationship; why not develop good habits early?
As you begin corresponding with a new potential match, try not to get sucked into the vortex of double meanings. Most of the time they’re not even there. You’re simply wasting energy that could be better spent - like getting to know your date, for instance.
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