We Have the Technology - But Should We Use It?
- Thursday, April 01 2010 @ 11:33 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,212
Using technology – specifically, the internet – for dating opens up new worlds of possibilities. Granted, every new technology brings with it new responsibilities. Those of us familiar with the world of the internet are relatively vigilant about our own safety – keeping those personal details off our profiles – but there's something else we need to do that isn't addressed as much: police our own behavior. In short, don't internet-stalk people we're interested in.
It starts innocuously: Person A emails a potential match (Person B), and they're excited about it – maybe too excited, if they're only emailing one person at a time (aim for several a week to avoid this). The online dating site this person uses tells you exactly when the object of your desire last checked in, so Person A can't help but check a few times – and when Person B finally does check in, the waiting game begins. Let's say it actually leads to a date.
After the date, Person A realizes that Person B's profile name matches their Livejournal account, so then they're scouring the entries, looking for mention of them. Now, is anything Person A has done really bad? Probably not – and probably many of us have done something similar. But now that the internet has creeped into our everyday lives, we have to redefine our boundaries. We probably wouldn't sit outside someone's house in our car, so why are we obsessing over their Facebook updates?
This is a growing problem with younger people, in particular. Teenagers have grown up with slightly different personal boundaries, and some young couples dance dangerously close to the line of abuse when they have partners who demand to know their whereabouts at all times. As adults in the dating world, we set the standard. The sooner we agree upon some sort of Internet etiquette, the better for us and for future generations.
In the meantime, however, consider the profiles of potential matches their own personal space – or their diary. You might want to read it, but good rarely comes from it. And how awkward would it be to be on a date and blurt out that you already know some story or personal tidbit? Leave the discovery to the dating.
It starts innocuously: Person A emails a potential match (Person B), and they're excited about it – maybe too excited, if they're only emailing one person at a time (aim for several a week to avoid this). The online dating site this person uses tells you exactly when the object of your desire last checked in, so Person A can't help but check a few times – and when Person B finally does check in, the waiting game begins. Let's say it actually leads to a date.
After the date, Person A realizes that Person B's profile name matches their Livejournal account, so then they're scouring the entries, looking for mention of them. Now, is anything Person A has done really bad? Probably not – and probably many of us have done something similar. But now that the internet has creeped into our everyday lives, we have to redefine our boundaries. We probably wouldn't sit outside someone's house in our car, so why are we obsessing over their Facebook updates?
This is a growing problem with younger people, in particular. Teenagers have grown up with slightly different personal boundaries, and some young couples dance dangerously close to the line of abuse when they have partners who demand to know their whereabouts at all times. As adults in the dating world, we set the standard. The sooner we agree upon some sort of Internet etiquette, the better for us and for future generations.
In the meantime, however, consider the profiles of potential matches their own personal space – or their diary. You might want to read it, but good rarely comes from it. And how awkward would it be to be on a date and blurt out that you already know some story or personal tidbit? Leave the discovery to the dating.
Subscribe
