Waiting for Prince Charming
- Friday, April 23 2010 @ 08:14 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,489
One of the things that drives me crazy is when people say, on their online dating profiles or their blogs, that they're “waiting for their Prince Charming” or “waiting for their fairy tale to begin.” Women are not the only ones guilty of this; some men apparently can't wait to find their “damsel in distress.” Let's think about what we're really saying when we bring up fairy tales, shall we?
Usually, the women in fairy tales are pretty helpless. Think about the beginning of the cartoon version of Snow White – the first and prototypical animated princess: she literally swoons around and sings about how she's waiting for her Prince Charming, that he'll find her. She does not need to search for him; she's a princess, he can come to her.
It doesn't stop with her; virtually every traditional fairy tale princess has to be helped out of some awful situation, whether it's a bad home life or an evil witch (or both). Rarely do they make any move to help themselves. So when a girl says she wants to be “swept off her feet,” whether she realizes it or not, she's saying she wants to have her partner do all the work in the relationship, and she's waiting for the perfect guy to fall out of the sky and into her lap.
There are some guys for whom this is perfectly acceptable; they're eager to battle dragons to win their fair maiden. So let's think about that: how is a partnership equal if one person is a prize? At best, it's putting one member of the relationship on a pedestal; at worst, it's treating them like property.
Now, not all people who speak of fairy tales actually mean any of this – we've been raised hearing these common phrases as ways of describing romance and true love. For most they're generic phrases that are used to describe the excitement and “magic” or romance. Even under the best circumstances, however, they're trite and overused.
So when you construct or edit your profile, ask yourself: do you need fairy tales to describe what you're looking for? No offense to the Brothers Grimm, but I think we're all a little more creative than that.
Usually, the women in fairy tales are pretty helpless. Think about the beginning of the cartoon version of Snow White – the first and prototypical animated princess: she literally swoons around and sings about how she's waiting for her Prince Charming, that he'll find her. She does not need to search for him; she's a princess, he can come to her.
It doesn't stop with her; virtually every traditional fairy tale princess has to be helped out of some awful situation, whether it's a bad home life or an evil witch (or both). Rarely do they make any move to help themselves. So when a girl says she wants to be “swept off her feet,” whether she realizes it or not, she's saying she wants to have her partner do all the work in the relationship, and she's waiting for the perfect guy to fall out of the sky and into her lap.
There are some guys for whom this is perfectly acceptable; they're eager to battle dragons to win their fair maiden. So let's think about that: how is a partnership equal if one person is a prize? At best, it's putting one member of the relationship on a pedestal; at worst, it's treating them like property.
Now, not all people who speak of fairy tales actually mean any of this – we've been raised hearing these common phrases as ways of describing romance and true love. For most they're generic phrases that are used to describe the excitement and “magic” or romance. Even under the best circumstances, however, they're trite and overused.
So when you construct or edit your profile, ask yourself: do you need fairy tales to describe what you're looking for? No offense to the Brothers Grimm, but I think we're all a little more creative than that.
Subscribe
