Using Technology Wisely in Relationships

I'm a fan of social media, online dating, and mobile dating apps. I feel that anything that brings us together, enables us to meet new people, and helps us better communicate is a wonderful thing. However, it's important to remember that the online world and real world are two separate things. It's important to grow your real-life relationships by talking in person and spending time together, rather than always seeing what else is going on via your smartphone, Facebook, and Twitter. Face to face interaction is still key.

Following are some tips to manage and utilize technology so that it improves relationships, rather than diminishes them:

Keep your smartphone out of reach when on a date. Sure, it's tempting to check your text messages or post about your date on Twitter or Facebook, but it's also rude. Instead of leaving your phone on and checking it every few minutes, turn it off and put it away. It can be very distracting to both you and your date, and it sends the wrong message. The person sitting across from you deserves your attention. You made plans to be on a date, so be present.

Maximize your meeting potential. Join online dating sites, download mobile apps, and connect via social media. But don't forget real life! If someone catches your eye in line at the coffee shop or sitting next to you at a bar, start talking. It's important to engage with others in real life as well as online. The more people you meet, the better opportunity you have to network and find the right person for you.

Don't be a virtual stalker. If you've started dating someone new and friended her on Facebook, don't be tempted to constantly check on who she's friending, what she's posting on her wall, or how many of her friends are other guys. Facebook can be maddening when you use it to gage what the other person is thinking. So don't. Instead, have a conversation. Don't stalk or analyze Facebook behavior. By the same token, don't assume you can post about your relationship without asking and coming to an agreement. It's best to be clear with each other before you make your relationship known virtually.

Keep in touch. Texting makes it easier than ever to communicate with dates, but I don't think it should be the primary means of communication. If you've never met, pick up the phone and talk before the first date. If you want to communicate something important, call. If you're running late, then text and let the person know. If you want to let your date know you had a good time, send a thank you text. General rule: if you need to have a conversation, then pick up the phone and talk. If you just want to provide an update or confirm plans, texting is a great mechanism.