The Well-Intentioned Matchmaker

Matchmaker. It's a loaded term. I'm not talking about professional matchmakers – though they do exist, believe it or not – but instead, the friends, family, co-workers, and well-meaning people you barely know who take it upon themselves to set you up with someone who would be “just perfect for you.” What do you do when someone decides to play chemist and you're one of the beakers?

First and foremost, evaluate the intention. It's a rare thing to encounter someone who actually has malicious intent; even the most annoying and meddlesome people usually have good intentions. So when you're having a bad day and the last thing you want to do is talk about a blind date, take a deep breath and remember: the people who attempt to set you up typically do so because they care about you and want to see you happy. It can be tough to remember, especially if they've played “matchmaker” before, but typically friends and family are just trying to help you succeed, in the only ways they know how. When you deal with a wanna-be matchmaker, you'll often have more effect on your relationship with them than with whoever they want to pair you with, so tread carefully.

That's typically the case if the “matchmaker” is a close friend or family member. On the other hand, sometimes you might encounter someone who feels that strongly about the other beaker in the equation – their own sister or soccer mate or nanny. In this instance, it's quite possible that you are just “single person x,” and they have no idea if you'd actually be suitable for one another. If you're quite certain that you're just a single person to insert into the equation, you might be more justified in telling your postmaster or co-worker that you've got other plans that night.

However, is a blind date really the end of the world? Even if you don't have a close relationship with the matchmaker, remember that sometimes an objective eye is what's needed. Perhaps they can see that the two of you really are compatible, and you really would hit it off. People have met and fallen in love in stranger circumstances. If we're willing to trust fallible computer software, maybe we ought to give good old human perception a try once in awhile, too, just to mix things up.

And, if we do, it's entirely possible that the date will be a failure and the matchmaker had no idea what they were talking about. Or maybe it'll be great. In either case, if you indulge a wanna-be matchmaker every once in awhile, you'll acknowledge that you appreciate that they care, and you'll never wonder “what if.” It might just be a chance worth taking.