The Unconventional First Date
- Tuesday, May 29 2012 @ 09:37 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,369
Michelle isn’t afraid of the dating world. She hasn’t found “the right one” yet, but she’s fairly confident she will. She enjoys meeting new people. But there’s one aspect of dating that makes her cringe: the first date.
It’s not the small talk, or anxiety. It’s that Michelle is most comfortable rock climbing, or making a campfire on the beach. She’s an outdoorsy, sporty, hair-in-a-ponytail kind of girl. Some of her friends have actually told her she’s more attractive when she’s not all dressed up - it just doesn’t look right.
However, most of her first dates seemed to fall along very generic lines: at night, in dressy clothes. Where makeup and nice hair are probably expected. They aren’t painfully awkward, but Michelle felt that they just didn’t “show her in her best light.” She might say she enjoys the outdoors, but so do lots of people who don’t actually mean it. She didn’t really start to loosen up, get comfortable, and really feel out the compatibility until the second date or later, when they started meeting in more unconventional places.
Then Michelle had an idea. Why not skip that awkward step? Why go through that generic first-date ritual? She began suggesting more unusual venues for her first dates: breakfast in a diner, for example, before heading out to play Frisbee.
“Breakfast dates have been amazing,” Michelle tells me. “Since it’s a weekend, if it doesn’t go well you can say you have plans with family later, but if it does, you can stretch it into an all-day date. And since it’s first thing in the morning, I’m not spending all day getting nervous about the date later.”
For Michelle, the best thing is that the dress code is considerably more relaxed. “No one expects full hair and makeup at ten in the morning,” Michelle says. “We can be ourselves without feeling sloppy or lazy. And I like to think I actually look better like that anyway.”
As you make plans to meet someone for the first time, consider stepping outside the dating box - or rather, stretching the box to fit you. Why go the generic route just because it’s expected, if it’s not really your style? Why not do something that better fits you and your potential match? And if you’re both on the same page about ditching the conventional, you might have more in common than you even realized.
It’s not the small talk, or anxiety. It’s that Michelle is most comfortable rock climbing, or making a campfire on the beach. She’s an outdoorsy, sporty, hair-in-a-ponytail kind of girl. Some of her friends have actually told her she’s more attractive when she’s not all dressed up - it just doesn’t look right.
However, most of her first dates seemed to fall along very generic lines: at night, in dressy clothes. Where makeup and nice hair are probably expected. They aren’t painfully awkward, but Michelle felt that they just didn’t “show her in her best light.” She might say she enjoys the outdoors, but so do lots of people who don’t actually mean it. She didn’t really start to loosen up, get comfortable, and really feel out the compatibility until the second date or later, when they started meeting in more unconventional places.
Then Michelle had an idea. Why not skip that awkward step? Why go through that generic first-date ritual? She began suggesting more unusual venues for her first dates: breakfast in a diner, for example, before heading out to play Frisbee.
“Breakfast dates have been amazing,” Michelle tells me. “Since it’s a weekend, if it doesn’t go well you can say you have plans with family later, but if it does, you can stretch it into an all-day date. And since it’s first thing in the morning, I’m not spending all day getting nervous about the date later.”
For Michelle, the best thing is that the dress code is considerably more relaxed. “No one expects full hair and makeup at ten in the morning,” Michelle says. “We can be ourselves without feeling sloppy or lazy. And I like to think I actually look better like that anyway.”
As you make plans to meet someone for the first time, consider stepping outside the dating box - or rather, stretching the box to fit you. Why go the generic route just because it’s expected, if it’s not really your style? Why not do something that better fits you and your potential match? And if you’re both on the same page about ditching the conventional, you might have more in common than you even realized.
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