The State Of Dating In America: What Do We Look For In A Mate?

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You try to be aloof. You try to act confident, mysterious, and detached. Online dating? It's no big deal. Who cares what people say they're looking for? You're not going to worry about it. You're just going to be yourself, and the date offers will roll in.

But secretly (ok, not so secretly), you're dying to know what potential dates are looking for. You're desperate to figure out exactly how to present yourself in your profile to attract the kind of people you're attracted to. Don't worry - you're not alone, and the State Of Dating In America report has a few answers to offer.

ChristianMingle and JDate asked "What do you find most attractive about the opposite sex?" and their users answered. Here's what they had to say...

For men:

  • Sense of humor: 19%
  • Physical appearance: 33%
  • Intelligence: 16%
  • Confidence: 12%
  • Integrity: 12%
  • Professional success: <3%
  • Domestic skills: 5%
  • Financial success: negligible

For women:

  • Sense of humor: 24%
  • Physical appearance: 21%
  • Intelligence: 16%
  • Confidence: 15%
  • Integrity: 16%
  • Professional success: 3%
  • Domestic skills: <5%
  • Financial success: negligible

Men and women may disagree about what the most attractive trait in a date is, but they don't disagree when it comes to another important characteristic. Both say that the most important characteristic in someone they did is shared interest. Women believe the next most important characteristics are someone who is funny, someone who is attractive, someone who is successful, and someone who is smart. Men rank the characteristics similarly, but give appearances more weight than women.

The sexes are not only clear on what they want in a mate, they're also clear on what they don't want.

Men say the worst traits in a mate are:

  • Greed: 30%
  • Sloth: 20%
  • Gluttony: 15%
  • Pride & Envy: tied at 11%
  • Wrath: 9%
  • Lust: 5%

Women say the seven deadly sins of dating are:

  • Greed: 34%
  • Wrath: 17%
  • Sloth: 13%
  • Pride: 12%
  • Gluttony: 10%
  • Lust: 8%
  • Envy: 6%

Even though men and women agree on many things, they still remain a mystery to each other in many ways. They are both thoroughly puzzled by the opposite sex's feelings on commitment, and confused about matters like their taste in "hot" men or women, how they spend their money, their eating and personal grooming habits, and the way they interact with their friends.

For more information about the dating sites which provided this data you can review our and reviews.