The Second Most Dangerous Game
- Thursday, August 23 2012 @ 07:29 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,035
It’s not unusual to hear dating referred to in terms of hunting some exotic animal. Whether you’re talking about watering holes frequented by the single, ways of talking guaranteed to bait the unsuspecting, or being flanked by friends aiding you in the hunt, it can feel more like you’re heading out into the Serengeti than to meet a new friend.
And that’s exactly what we have to keep in mind - that you’re looking to meet a new friend with whom you also share romantic chemistry. You’re not looking for a trophy to put on your wall, or an exotic pet to take home. Perhaps you’ll share some “animal attraction,” but that should be where comparisons to the animal kingdom end.
Neither are you meeting with a member of some tribe with a completely different culture and language. Chances are, when you head out to your first date - especially one you’ve met through an online dating site - you already have a few things in common. You might even already have the spark of a potential connection.
Why, then, do so many treat dating like a Most Dangerous Game? If you had moved to a new town and wanted to make some new buddies, would you approach that like a safari? No, chances are you’d keep your eyes open when you frequented places and events you were interested in, and strike up conversations with people who seemed like they’d potentially be fun to be with. People want to get along; they want to find people who “get” them; they want to belong. Unless you happen to be dealing with someone with a massive chip on their shoulder, dating is not so different.
So as you head out on your first date, or even randomly approach someone new, remember: you’re not Teddy Roosevelt in Africa, and you’re not a spaceman making first contact with a being from another world. Approach them like you’d approach making a new friend; try to make a good first impression, but still be true to yourself and your personality. If you’re compatible, and you share an attraction, that’s really all you need. Leave the pith helmet and the khaki vest at home.
And that’s exactly what we have to keep in mind - that you’re looking to meet a new friend with whom you also share romantic chemistry. You’re not looking for a trophy to put on your wall, or an exotic pet to take home. Perhaps you’ll share some “animal attraction,” but that should be where comparisons to the animal kingdom end.
Neither are you meeting with a member of some tribe with a completely different culture and language. Chances are, when you head out to your first date - especially one you’ve met through an online dating site - you already have a few things in common. You might even already have the spark of a potential connection.
Why, then, do so many treat dating like a Most Dangerous Game? If you had moved to a new town and wanted to make some new buddies, would you approach that like a safari? No, chances are you’d keep your eyes open when you frequented places and events you were interested in, and strike up conversations with people who seemed like they’d potentially be fun to be with. People want to get along; they want to find people who “get” them; they want to belong. Unless you happen to be dealing with someone with a massive chip on their shoulder, dating is not so different.
So as you head out on your first date, or even randomly approach someone new, remember: you’re not Teddy Roosevelt in Africa, and you’re not a spaceman making first contact with a being from another world. Approach them like you’d approach making a new friend; try to make a good first impression, but still be true to yourself and your personality. If you’re compatible, and you share an attraction, that’s really all you need. Leave the pith helmet and the khaki vest at home.
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