The Game is Called 'Sorry' for a Reason
- Tuesday, May 18 2010 @ 08:50 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,897
Have you ever watched children play a board game? It gets interesting when someone finally wins – and someone else loses. Some kids are at peace with the fact that their game is essentially a game of chance. Some vow to do better next time. And some, well, throw a temper tantrum.
Those children eventually grow up, but sometimes the way they handle rejection remains the same. And since sore losers aren't exactly uncommon, perhaps you should ask yourself: Am I handling rejection appropriately?
We all get rejected from time to time, whether in dating or elsewhere. We've also probably done our share of rejecting. One important factor to remember: accept the answer. It's okay to be upset, privately. It's okay to complain to friends or family. But whatever you do, for whatever the reason, do not attempt to follow up with the person that rejected you. Don't email back to ask why, or admonish them for being less than tactful. Take no for an answer and moved on. Consider: if you were rejected from a college, would you email admissions demanding reasons why?
Another skill to have is the ability to move on. Some might appear to let their rejection go – on the surface. Privately, however, they obsess. Could they have done something different? Is this their ideal match? Should they email again with a better profile? Others feel like they need closure – from one email. Placing too much significance on a first-contact email is a sure way to fall into this trap.
Handling rejection appropriately hinges on placing the proper amount of importance on the situation. Ending a years-long relationship should not feel equal to receiving a negative response from a first-contact email. Another helpful tip is to expect a certain amount of rejection; no one person is universally attractive.
If you're rejected, don't take it too seriously. Examine your profile and email to see if they can be improved. If you can't find some obvious problem, let it go. If the rejection continues, maybe it's time to get a second opinion on your profile. Either way, keeping everything in perspective will lead to less stress for you – which is most important. And you won't be the child throwing the unnecessary temper tantrum.
Those children eventually grow up, but sometimes the way they handle rejection remains the same. And since sore losers aren't exactly uncommon, perhaps you should ask yourself: Am I handling rejection appropriately?
We all get rejected from time to time, whether in dating or elsewhere. We've also probably done our share of rejecting. One important factor to remember: accept the answer. It's okay to be upset, privately. It's okay to complain to friends or family. But whatever you do, for whatever the reason, do not attempt to follow up with the person that rejected you. Don't email back to ask why, or admonish them for being less than tactful. Take no for an answer and moved on. Consider: if you were rejected from a college, would you email admissions demanding reasons why?
Another skill to have is the ability to move on. Some might appear to let their rejection go – on the surface. Privately, however, they obsess. Could they have done something different? Is this their ideal match? Should they email again with a better profile? Others feel like they need closure – from one email. Placing too much significance on a first-contact email is a sure way to fall into this trap.
Handling rejection appropriately hinges on placing the proper amount of importance on the situation. Ending a years-long relationship should not feel equal to receiving a negative response from a first-contact email. Another helpful tip is to expect a certain amount of rejection; no one person is universally attractive.
If you're rejected, don't take it too seriously. Examine your profile and email to see if they can be improved. If you can't find some obvious problem, let it go. If the rejection continues, maybe it's time to get a second opinion on your profile. Either way, keeping everything in perspective will lead to less stress for you – which is most important. And you won't be the child throwing the unnecessary temper tantrum.
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