The Dating Dance
- Saturday, March 24 2012 @ 09:33 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,053
When first entering the world of online dating - or really, dating in general - it’s can be like being told to perform a ballet without having ever danced before. You might not have any idea what your strengths are. Over time, however, you might get the “choreography” down, but still need help with your “form.” Or maybe you’ve got the “arms” under control and need to focus on your “legs.” Whichever metaphor you choose, there comes a time when you need to assess what your strengths in dating are, and determine what you need to work on.
There’s a wide range of possibilities, and strategies to make up for your weakenesses. For some, the hardest part is just “getting their foot in the door” - writing a good profile, getting that first date. Once they meet in person, their personality does the rest of the work for them. Such a person might naturally focus more on their online profile, asking for proofreading help from others.
Some can express themselves well through writing, but freeze up in person when they’re meeting someone new. For them, the first date is what to focus on - learning to make small talk, to work past their nerves and anxieties. Still others are great at making first impressions of all kinds, but need to work on making deeper connections in the long term.
So even within the niche of online dating, there are all kinds. What can we learn from this? Well, in seeking out advice, tips and tricks, you have to bear your own strengths and weaknesses in mind. It doesn’t do much good to work on your “ballet footwork” when it’s really your flexibility you need to be concerned with. The Internet allows us to be flooded with ideas and advice, but after you become more familiar with the dating process in general, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is filter out what isn’t relevant.
Finally, as you write those first emails or head out on a first date, remember that you’re meeting someone with their own strengths and weaknesses. Are you extending the same compassion and patience you’d like to receive? You might not be great at dancing alone, but perhaps you’ll find someone with whom you can piece together an entire ballet.
There’s a wide range of possibilities, and strategies to make up for your weakenesses. For some, the hardest part is just “getting their foot in the door” - writing a good profile, getting that first date. Once they meet in person, their personality does the rest of the work for them. Such a person might naturally focus more on their online profile, asking for proofreading help from others.
Some can express themselves well through writing, but freeze up in person when they’re meeting someone new. For them, the first date is what to focus on - learning to make small talk, to work past their nerves and anxieties. Still others are great at making first impressions of all kinds, but need to work on making deeper connections in the long term.
So even within the niche of online dating, there are all kinds. What can we learn from this? Well, in seeking out advice, tips and tricks, you have to bear your own strengths and weaknesses in mind. It doesn’t do much good to work on your “ballet footwork” when it’s really your flexibility you need to be concerned with. The Internet allows us to be flooded with ideas and advice, but after you become more familiar with the dating process in general, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is filter out what isn’t relevant.
Finally, as you write those first emails or head out on a first date, remember that you’re meeting someone with their own strengths and weaknesses. Are you extending the same compassion and patience you’d like to receive? You might not be great at dancing alone, but perhaps you’ll find someone with whom you can piece together an entire ballet.
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