Tailoring Your First Impression
- Saturday, September 03 2011 @ 07:40 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,257
In general, online dating isn’t much different from the rest of the dating universe. You still have the same nerves; rejection still stings. You still begin with not much more than a “hello” and see how things progress from there. There’s always impatience and overanalyzing.
However, there is one key difference: when you approach someone in person, you’re tailoring their first impression in real time. With online dating, you get the benefit of a carefully constructed, pre-edited profile that shows you at your best, but you’re forced to take a one-size-fits-all approach.
For example: maybe you’re someone who likes going to comic conventions. If you’re talking to someone who’s obviously a comic fan, you can play up that aspect of your interests. On the other hand, if you’re not sure about their comic allegiance or you already know you have something else in common, like a passion for golf, you can focus on that instead.
In your online profile, you’d like to appeal to people from both sides of the interest spectrum. At the same time, you don’t want to appear like you’re hedging your bets and covering all the bases, saying cliche things like, “I like to be outdoors... or stay in. I like to dress up... or be comfortable in jeans.” What to do?
First, be honest. Don’t worry about appealing to all demographics everywhere; you’re trying to find someone compatible to you, remember, not to the world’s most generic person. If you consistently find you’re not attracting the type of people you’d like, maybe you need to emphasize some bits, or de-emphasize others.
If you find your golf people just don’t seem interested in someone who also likes comics and vice-versa, maybe it’s time to diversify your profiles. Try creating one profile at a niche site about comics, for example, and have another one for the people who share a passion for golf. If one strategy isn’t working, there’s nothing wrong with trying out a few others.
At no point are we talking about hiding who you are; we’re talking about fine-tuning your opening conversation. Everyone has a wide and diverse range of interests, but when we meet someone we tend to narrow them down to the few we likely have in common; depth comes later. There’s no one method for finding a compatible match; why not experiment with what works for you?
However, there is one key difference: when you approach someone in person, you’re tailoring their first impression in real time. With online dating, you get the benefit of a carefully constructed, pre-edited profile that shows you at your best, but you’re forced to take a one-size-fits-all approach.
For example: maybe you’re someone who likes going to comic conventions. If you’re talking to someone who’s obviously a comic fan, you can play up that aspect of your interests. On the other hand, if you’re not sure about their comic allegiance or you already know you have something else in common, like a passion for golf, you can focus on that instead.
In your online profile, you’d like to appeal to people from both sides of the interest spectrum. At the same time, you don’t want to appear like you’re hedging your bets and covering all the bases, saying cliche things like, “I like to be outdoors... or stay in. I like to dress up... or be comfortable in jeans.” What to do?
First, be honest. Don’t worry about appealing to all demographics everywhere; you’re trying to find someone compatible to you, remember, not to the world’s most generic person. If you consistently find you’re not attracting the type of people you’d like, maybe you need to emphasize some bits, or de-emphasize others.
If you find your golf people just don’t seem interested in someone who also likes comics and vice-versa, maybe it’s time to diversify your profiles. Try creating one profile at a niche site about comics, for example, and have another one for the people who share a passion for golf. If one strategy isn’t working, there’s nothing wrong with trying out a few others.
At no point are we talking about hiding who you are; we’re talking about fine-tuning your opening conversation. Everyone has a wide and diverse range of interests, but when we meet someone we tend to narrow them down to the few we likely have in common; depth comes later. There’s no one method for finding a compatible match; why not experiment with what works for you?
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